{"id":35636,"date":"2025-05-29T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-28T23:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/savvytokyo.com\/?p=35636"},"modified":"2025-07-08T22:38:09","modified_gmt":"2025-07-08T13:38:09","slug":"when-you-feel-like-youre-the-only-outsider-in-the-community-do-these-2-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/savvytokyo.com\/when-you-feel-like-youre-the-only-outsider-in-the-community-do-these-2-things\/","title":{"rendered":"Do These 2 Things When You Feel Like The Only Outsider In Your Japanese Community"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.moj.go.jp\/isa\/publications\/press\/13_00052.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">the latest statistics<\/a>, there are just a little over 3.7 million foreigners currently residing in Japan. Although this may seem a significant number, perhaps it loses its weight when compared to the colossal 123.1 million of the country\u2019s entire population. Naturally, the native people of Japan heavily outnumber<\/span> the foreigners. In other words, when living in the very <em>inaka<\/em> (rural Japanese countryside), everyone is Japanese except<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> you.<\/span> You may even feel like you&#8217;re the only outsider in your Japanese community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, if you love the attention, that might be ok with you. But if you\u2019re a sensitive gal like me, this can make your life pretty darn tricky, especially if you\u2019re coming from an increasingly multicultural country such as New Zealand. Why does it matter? Well, theoretically it shouldn\u2019t, but we\u2019re flawed human beings with a heck of a lot of feelings,<\/span> and sometimes, we <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">can\u2019t help but feel like a complete and utter outsider (with four legs).<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<nav class=\"wp-block-gplus-anchor-table\"><ol><li class=\"wp-block-gplus-anchor-table__level-2\"><a class=\"wp-block-table-of-contents__entry\" href=\"#my-many-inaka-tears\">My Many Inaka Tears<\/a><ol><\/ol><\/li><li class=\"wp-block-gplus-anchor-table__level-2\"><a class=\"wp-block-table-of-contents__entry\" href=\"#learning-to-cope\">Learning To Cope<\/a><ol><\/ol><\/li><li class=\"wp-block-gplus-anchor-table__level-2\"><a class=\"wp-block-table-of-contents__entry\" href=\"#theres-no-big-difference-when-you-dream-alike\">There\u2019s No Big Difference When You Dream Alike<\/a><ol><\/ol><\/li><\/ol><\/nav>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-framed-heading\" id='my-many-inaka-tears'><b>My Many Inaka Tears<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/bento-with-almonds.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"684\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/bento-with-almonds-1024x684.jpg\" alt=\"My Many Inaka Tears\" class=\"wp-image-35661\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/bento-with-almonds-1024x684.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/bento-with-almonds-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/bento-with-almonds-768x513.jpg 768w, https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/bento-with-almonds-380x254.jpg 380w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><small class=\"imgcopyright\">\u00a9 Photo by Anisa Kazemi<\/small><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I can\u2019t speak for urban expats, but for me, being a foreigner in my incredibly rural Japanese Okayama village posed various discomforts. For one, almost everyone openly stared (sometimes with their mouths wide open!).<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In their defense, I look noticeably different: my skin is darker, my nose is longer, my hair is way curlier and my butt and thighs are bigger. Also, my mannerisms were unlike theirs. For example, my <a href=\"https:\/\/savvytokyo.com\/bento-savvys-guide-to-japans-packed-lunch-box\/\"><em>bento<\/em> (lunch box)<\/a> usually contains lots of nuts and legumes and things vegetarian\u2014a term almost non-existent in my deer and boar-hunting village.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In addition, I don\u2019t peel my <a href=\"https:\/\/savvytokyo.com\/kaki-miracle-japanese-persimmon\/\">persimmons<\/a>, figs or grapes; I hardly ever use an umbrella (both for sunshine and rain); I like getting a <a href=\"https:\/\/savvytokyo.com\/sun-protection-culture-japan-vs-the-west\/\">sun tan<\/a>, and I clock out of work when my shift ends. All of this contributes to feelings of being treated like an outsider\u2014or at least perceived as one.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id='dont-get-me-wrong-this-happens-everywhere-and-its-perhaps-normal'><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t get me wrong, this happens everywhere. And it\u2019s perhaps normal.<\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even in New Zealand, a super diverse nation, my Iranian family and I were and still occasionally are subject to prejudice, more so when we were small-town dwellers. At school, my sister and I were the butt of \u201cbomb\u201d and \u201cterrorist\u201d jokes. Worse off was my father, a walking stereotype; a Middle Eastern taxi driver with thick black facial hair.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, when looking past the ignorants making the offensive comments, we\u2019d see an Indian person, a Chinese individual and a Samoan\/Tongan\/Fijian\/you-name-it family all sharing the same walkway, which helped us feel a little less marginalized. However, in my very rural, very Japanese village, my tactic of adjusting to the local lifestyle was ineffective since looking outside (at others) for solace was evidently out of the question. This was a situation that used to leave me in tears more often than not.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-framed-heading\" id='learning-to-cope'><b>Learning To Cope<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The tears eventually brought me to the revelation that I shouldn\u2019t have sought solace like that in the first place. In the end, for me, the way to cope came down to two obvious parallel steps.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id='1-share-your-culture'>1. Share Your Culture<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image72-e1536828557296.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image72-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"Share Your Culture\" class=\"wp-image-35647\"\/><\/a><small class=\"imgcopyright\">\u00a9 Photo by Anisa Kazemi<\/small><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As often as you can. Pick something from your culture\u2014now, by that I don\u2019t mean something from the country you\u2019re from (though it can be), but rather something from your <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">personal<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> culture.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For me, that\u2019s food!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I believe there\u2019s little in our world that can beat a good taco\u2026 or a freshly baked crumble\u2026 or my specialty: a too-pretty-to-eat smoothie bowl. So, I started by inviting one colleague over to my humble abode (trust me, asking was nerve-wracking) and making them <a href=\"https:\/\/savvytokyo.com\/recipe-nana-berry-cherry-smoothie-bowl\/\">a smoothie bowl<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image331-e1536828621759.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image331-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"Smoothie bowls\" class=\"wp-image-35650\"\/><\/a><small class=\"imgcopyright\">\u00a9 Photo by Anisa Kazemi<\/small><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Of course, it was successful\u2014who doesn\u2019t appreciate a smoothie bowl? Inevitably, word of mouth spread, and in no time, my colleagues and I were having a potluck, mixing and matching our favorite recipes every week! Also, my original guest became a smoothie bowl fanatic.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image237-1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"701\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image237-1-701x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Outsider In Japanese Community\" class=\"wp-image-35649\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image237-1-701x1024.jpg 701w, https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image237-1-205x300.jpg 205w, https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image237-1-380x555.jpg 380w, https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image237-1.jpg 750w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 701px) 100vw, 701px\" \/><\/a><small class=\"imgcopyright\">\u00a9 Photo by Anisa Kazemi<\/small><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And, flash forward two years, your so-called \u201cstaring neighbor\u201d is now staying with you in New Zealand!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id='2-appreciate-their-culture'>2. Appreciate Their Culture<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image114-e1536828735451.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image114-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Outsider In Japanese Community\" class=\"wp-image-35648\"\/><\/a><small class=\"imgcopyright\">\u00a9 Photo by Anisa Kazemi<\/small><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t get me wrong, it\u2019s not about assimilation<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2014<\/span>I\u2019m not asking you to suddenly know how to do a perfect 45-degree bow or do everything Japanese, but merely to appreciate the unique culture of your Japanese countryside. Remember, most visitors to Japan will never encounter the incredibly rich and traditional culture you get to be a part of.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For me, that was participating in rural events such as peach picking (Okayama\u2019s specialty), pounding mochi at Miyamoto Musashi\u2019s festival and attempting the beautiful yet surprisingly difficult art of pottery.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If I interpret the unfriendly stares of my neighbors or one colleague\u2019s snarky&nbsp;comments when I ate a raw capsicum as a treatment I am only receiving because of my \u201cforeignness,\u201d then I myself am actively contributing to the problem. For what am I to make of the endless love and generosity showered upon me by members of the same race?<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading is-style-framed-heading\" id='theres-no-big-difference-when-you-dream-alike'><b>There\u2019s No Big Difference When You Dream Alike<\/b><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image7-e1536828984377.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.savvytokyo.com\/app\/uploads\/2018\/09\/image7-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"Outsider In Japanese Community\" class=\"wp-image-35640\"\/><\/a><small class=\"imgcopyright\">\u00a9 Photo by Anisa Kazemi<\/small><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In her novel&nbsp;<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Change of Heart<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, Jodi Picoult says: <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><em>\u201cWhen you\u2019re different, sometimes you don\u2019t see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn\u2019t.\u201d<\/em> <\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a profound statement that sometimes takes longer to realize how true it is. It suggests that unity is, in fact, a conscious decision.<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, I want to take Picoult\u2019s idea a step further.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Apart from our physical features and man-made nationalities, are we actually&nbsp;that different? How often have you met someone from a completely different walk of life who shares your same hopes, dreams, worries or interests? Heck, my American fianc\u00e9 and I are the living proof of this.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id='unity-is-in-fact-a-conscious-decision'><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Unity is, in fact, a conscious decision.<\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My new realization is this: if we stop viewing ourselves as different from one another<\/span><span style=\"box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;\">, we obliterate the idea of&nbsp;<em>difference<\/em>, of&nbsp;<em>foreignness,<\/em>&nbsp;and instead come to believe that we are all, in Bah\u00e1\u2019u\u2019ll\u00e1h\u2019s words,&nbsp;<em>\u201cthe fruits of one tree, and the leaves of one branch.\u201d<\/em>&nbsp;No<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> matter how alien we are in our appearance and in our behavior, we see a little part of ourselves in one another, becoming less sensitive to prejudice and helping eradicate it.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Above is a photo of my gorgeous Japanese colleagues, who live in the same rural village, throwing me a surprise ladies&#8217; luncheon for my birthday. I am still grateful for that day. And if they ever come to see me here, I\u2019d do the same for them.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Have you felt like the only outsider in your Japanese community before? How did you cope?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><em>This article has been republished for 2025.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you feel left out, invite yourself in. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":75,"featured_media":35644,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_subtitle":"How To Bloom Right When You're The Only Rare Flower In Town","footnotes":""},"categories":[251,41,989],"tags":[993,991,990,992],"promotion":[],"class_list":["post-35636","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-community-support","category-lifestyle","category-mental-health","tag-being-an-oustider","tag-foreign-in-japan","tag-inaka","tag-inaka-life"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Do These 2 Things When You Feel Like The Only Outsider In Your Japanese Community - Savvy Tokyo<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When you feel left out, invite yourself in. 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