Twenty-seven stops from Shinjuku might make Machida sound like a distant journey, but what it lacks in proximity, it more than makes up for in amenities and atmosphere that central Tokyo can’t offer. It’s a perfect day trip spot — so why not head there over the weekend and discover the charm of outer Tokyo?

The History Of Machida

Fans of Japanese history will know that present-day Machida was part of the ancient province of Musashi, which included most of Saitama, Kawasaki and Yokohama as well, and its capital later became Edo, which even later became the Tokyo we all know and love today. Fans of the original Pokémon series, however, might recognize it as being the basis for Pallet Town in the original Pokémon Red and Blue.

Historically, the area was largely a farming and fishing region until the Meiji period. It has since become a bedroom town for the greater Tokyo and Yokohama areas. Around the station, it’s a lively, bustling hotspot, but even walking a kilometer away will put you back into suburban or even rural spaces. This duality makes this neighborhood a great place to spend the day. You can surround yourself with nature in the morning, shop ‘til you drop in the afternoon, then enjoy some of the latest gourmet spots at night.

What To Do in Machida

With hundreds of interesting places to see and go to, the more accurate question should be what can’t you do?

Machida Squirrel Garden

While squirrels are a common sight overseas, they’re an adorable zoo attraction in Japan, and one that families with kids will love. Opened in 1988, the squirrel garden remains a little-known spot for both non-Japanese travelers and residents.

You’ll find yourself surrounded by the 200 Pallas squirrels that call the garden home. These squirrels are friendly and adorable to watch as they jump, romp, and show off their skills all around among the trees. It isn’t just home to squirrels, though — there are also chipmunks, rabbits, prairie dogs, guinea pigs and even two tortoises that freely stroll the grounds.

• Address: 1-733-1 Yakushidai, Machida, Tokyo (Map)
• Ticket Price: Adults (Junior High and older) ¥500, Children (ages 3 and up) ¥300
• Opening Hours: 10 a.m. – 4 p.m., closed Tuesdays
• Website: Official link

Machida Yakushi Ike Park

The Machida Squirrel Garden is technically a part of the Yakushi Ike Park complex, which is an ideal place to picnic, take a stroll or just relax. This park is centered around a 7700-square-meter pond, home to koi fish and turtles, as well as plenty of wild birds. There are historic Edo-period homes, a stunning Japanese bridge and teahouses that sell traditional Japanese sweets and drinks within the grounds.

From spring to summer, this historic park is full of flowers — cherry blossoms in spring, a peony garden from April to May, irises from May to June, lotus from July to August, and dahlia from July to November. It’s also quite charming in winter, especially if there’s been some snow.

• Address: 3270 Nozutamachi, Machida, Tokyo (Map)
• Ticket Price: Free (to the park itself; may be fees for entry to gardens)
• Opening Hours: Welcome gate: 5 a.m. – 10 p.m., gardens & shops are open seasonally
• Website: Official link

Buaiso Historical Home

If you are interested in Japanese history, antiques, and home-cooking, then a visit to Buaiso is in order. Buaiso is the name of the former home of Jiro Shirasu, a Cambridge-educated scholar and aide to Japan’s post-war Prime Minister, Shigeru Yoshida. Jiro Shirasu’s wife Masako was a famed art historian and essayist, and with their combined talents, they made their home into a treasure-trove of traditional Japanese arts and crafts as well as modern Western conveniences.

Buaiso is also one of the few thatched-roofed wooden houses in Tokyo, and has lovely gardens, plus a cafe where you can enjoy Masako’s own recipes that have been handed down through her personal notes and collections.

Please note that children under elementary school age are not permitted in the museum, nor are infants in strollers. Infants in carriers (on the body) are permitted to enter.

• Address: 7-3-2 Nogaya, Machida, Tokyo (Map)
• Closest Station: Tsurukawa
• Ticket Price: Adults ¥1,500, Under 18 ¥800, Junior High and younger free
• Opening Hours: 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. (last admission 4:30 p.m.), closed Mondays
• Website: Official link

The Machida City Museum of Graphic Arts

The Machida City Museum of Graphic Arts is one of the few museums solely dedicated to prints in the world. Here, visitors can learn about the process, tools and steps to its production from a Japanese perspective. They also offer workshops and classes, sometimes in English.

• Address: 4-28-1 Haramachida, Machida, Tokyo (Map)
• Ticket Price: Free (permanent exhibit and for Junior High School students and under), prices for special exhibits vary.
• Opening Hours: Tues-Fri 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. (last admission 4:30 p.m.), Sat-Sun and holidays 10 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. (last admission 5 p.m. )
• Website: Official link

Where To Shop in Machida

Shopaholics and curious window shoppers alike will love this neighborhood. There’s a little bit of everything there to enjoy. There are plenty of shopping malls with popular Japanese and international brands, plus the latest cafes, too, and all within a three-minute walk of the station.

Machida Lumine

Well-known for its cosmetics shops, Machida Lumine is easily accessible from the JR Lines.

• Address: 6-1-11 Haramachida, Machida, Tokyo (Map)
• Opening Hours: Shops 10:30 a.m. – 8:30 p.m., Restaurants 11 a.m. – 9:30 p.m. (shop hours may vary)
• Website: Official link

Machida Tokyu Twins

The Tokyu Twins are two shopping centers labeled East and West, and are located across from Machida Station. They are both accessible via the second-floor plaza from the station.

• Address: 6-4-1 Haramachida, Machida, Tokyo (Map)
• Opening Hours: Shops 10:30 a.m. – 8:30 p.m., Restaurants 11 a.m. – 10 p.m. (shop hours may vary)
• Website: Official link

Marui Machida

Located across from Lumine, Marui Machida is also directly accessible from Machida Station.

• Address: 6-1-6, Haramachida, Machida, Tokyo (Map)
• Opening Hours: 10:30 a.m. – 8 p.m. (shop hours may vary)
• Website: Official link

Machida Modi

Catering to a younger crowd, Machida Modi is closer to the Odakyu Machida Station, but still directly accessible via the second-floor walkways.

• Address: 6-2-6, Haramachida, Machida, Tokyo (Map)
• Opening Hours: 10:30 a.m. – 8 p.m. (shop hours may vary)
• Website: Official link

Jorna Machida

A must-visit place for younger shoppers, those interested in the latest in fashion and pop culture, Jorna Machida is located a short distance from the station, but again is accessible from the same second floor walkways as the other malls listed above.

• Address: 6-6-14 Haramachida, Machida, Tokyo (Map)
• Opening Hours: 10:30 a.m. – 8:30 p.m. (shop hours may vary)
• Website: Official link

Where To Eat in Machida

Machida is a food lover’s paradise. There’s not much you can’t find here, and it’s often said that even if you ate out three meals a day for a year, you still might not try everything they have to offer.

Machida Nakamise Shopping Street

If you prefer a more classic Japanese approach to shopping and dining, the Nakamise Shopping Street is home to some truly unique little shops, bars, and eateries. Actually, this shopping arcade is a definite must for foodies — the culinary delights you’ll find here sometimes have people lined up down the block. These shops are quite small, so get there early if you want a seat.

• Address: 4-5-13 Haramachida, Machida, Tokyo (Map)
• Opening Hours: Vary by shop
• Website: Official link

Getting There

Machida is easily accessible from Shinjuku via the Odakyu Odawara Line, as well as the Odakyu/Chiyoda Tama, Tokyu Den-en-toshi, JR Yokohama and Keio Sagamihara Line.

It can also be reached via the Tokyu Denentoshi Line from Shibuya and via the Keio Sagamihara Line from Tama Sakai.

The start of the year is filled with celebrations of love, especially in Japan. There’s Valentine’s Day, with its unique Japan-specific rules, and White Day, which can sometimes be less than romantic. Japan also has plenty of superstitions that surround finding, falling and losing love. Here’s a breakdown of some unique Japanese love superstitions you might not know.

Japanese Love Superstitions

Lucky Date Spots in Tokyo

Tokyo can be quite the romantic city, what with its fifteen love and matchmaking-related shrines. Once you’ve paid your respects at one of these spots, what else can you do.

Tokyo Tower

A classic spot to visit is Tokyo Tower. It’s said that a couple who witness the lights turning off at midnight at Tokyo Tower will be together forever. This can happen any day of the week, but if you want extra good luck, then the special lights on Saturday evenings are a must-see. Especially the red ones, as they symbolize love and gratitude.

Love, Luck and Weather

There are plenty of superstitions that involve the weather, too. If you and your partner witness a solar eclipse together, if you’re on a date and the first snow of the year falls, or if you and your partner see a rainbow after a rainstorm together, your love is set for life.

Umbrellas

One of the most famous Japanese superstitions is ai ai gasa (相合傘) or “sharing an umbrella. The word ‘ai’ also means love (愛 ai), and so sharing an umbrella is a romantic experience for many couples. Although not as common as it used to be, teenagers often draw a stick umbrella with a heart at the top and their name and their crush’s name underneath.

Texting

If you confess via email or text, do it on an odd-numbered day and type with your non-dominant hand to increase your chances of success.

Stationery-Related Love Superstitions

Red Ink

If you want to increase your love luck, use a pink/red pen every day until the ink runs out. Surrounding yourself with pink things in general is said to help, too.

What happens when the ink finally runs dry? Whatever you do, don’t write someone’s name with it. It’s a massive taboo in Japan, as the names of the dead are usually written in red, and it symbolizes death, bad luck and severing ties.

Erasers

One that might not be as common today as it used to be involves erasers. If you buy a new eraser, write your crush’s name, keep it hidden under the paper label, then use that eraser up completely, your love will be requited.

Breakup Related Superstitions

Unlucky Date Spots in Tokyo

There are many places in Tokyo that couples shouldn’t visit to avoid bad luck.

Keio Inokashira Park

The most famous superstition, of course, is that any couple that rides a swan boat together at Inokashira Park in Kichijoji is doomed to break up. This legend tends to apply to most swan boats and bodies of water in Japan, however. If the body of water is said to be blessed by Benzaiten (the Buddhist goddess of the arts and wealth, among other things), then she may curse couples who are too in love. Another common origin story of these superstitions is that a heartbroken woman who drowned herself in said body of water has cursed anyone in love to break up. At Inokashira Park, though, the only male swan boat is said to be immune to that curse.

Tokyo Disneyland

Although not technically in Tokyo, Tokyo Disney is considered a risky place for couples to go on a date. This one seems to be based more in reality: it’s a long trip from Tokyo, it’s expensive, and it’s easy to get into arguments or ignore one another during long waits.

One point that is shared by Tokyo Disney and the swan boats is that, seeing how your partner reacts to issues and how much or little they contribute to doing things may give you a glimpse into the future. You might see something you don’t like, and that could signal the end of the relationship.

Hairbrushes and Loose Hair

Hair seems to play a big part in your love luck in Japan. If you have two combs or brushes in your bag, your crush will fall for someone else. Or, if you use someone else’s comb without shaking it three times first, then your love will be unrequited. Be careful of loose hair on your clothes because if someone else picks it off for you, you’ll end up heartbroken.

Scissors and Mirrors

Using scissors or a knife on the same day as a date means your relationship will come apart, too. Never look at your reflection in a broken mirror, either, or else your love luck for the month will drop. That, by the way, is on top of the seven years of bad luck that breaking a mirror brings.

Weird Japanese Love Superstitions

Apparently, if you get a pimple on your left cheek, someone is in love with you. Bumping into a happy couple (accidentally, of course) will let some of their love luck rub off on you. If you give up your seat on the train three times to elderly people, that will also help your love luck.

A semi-science-based superstition is that, if you confess to your crush on the phone, you should ask them to switch their phone to the left ear first. Allegedly, what you hear using the left ear will connect to the right side of the brain, and that will cause the listener to process how they feel about what’s being said, instead of the literal meaning.

Lastly, for takoyaki (octopus balls) lovers out there, eating a piece of takoyaki without octopus in it (accidentally!) means you will fall in long-lasting love.

Do you know any other Japanese love superstitions? Share them in the comments below!

Kawasaki, in Kanagawa Prefecture, is less than 30 minutes by train from Shibuya. Kawasaki has had a bad reputation in the past as a rough, blue-collar area, but it is an incredible sightseeing area filled with history, culture and some of the most unique art spots in the Kanto region.

The History Of Kawasaki

Historically speaking, Kawasaki has long been a suburb and a lodging town for Tokyo, as it’s located on the Tokaido, the historical highway connecting Tokyo and Kyoto. During the 17th century, it was one of the main rest areas for weary travelers and, according to some historians, a “must-see travel spot” of the time.  If you want to learn more about the area’s history and dress up like an Edo-era citizen, head to Tokaido Kawasaki Shuku Koryukan, a multi-story museum and learning center that tells the story of the area, what life was like then and so much more.

Incorporated as its own city in 1924, and with a present-day population of just over 1.5 million people, Kawasaki is a popular suburb for those commuting to the Tokyo area. During World War II it was heavily bombed because of its port and industrial sites, but in the post-war period a lot of the port land was reclaimed and industry soon returned and exceeded pre-war levels there.

Major international corporations such as Fuji Electric, Hitachi, Nippon Steel and Ajinomoto still have their main factories and offices here to this day. From the post-war period through the bubble era, these factories and Kawasaki’s blue-collar image led many to think the era was too rough-and-tumble for Tokyoites, but nowadays, these same features have made Kawasaki an exciting, alternative tourist destination.

Tokaido Kawasaki Shuku Koryukan

• Address: 1-8-4 Honcho, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Closest Station: JR Kawasaki or Keikyu Kawasaki
• Ticket Price: Free
• Opening Hours: 9 a.m.-5 p.m., closed Mondays
• Website: Official link

What To Do in Kawasaki

There are three main must-see areas in Kawasaki, but which one you visit depends on your interests. If you want to see Japanese Buddhism, or an annual festival dedicated to safe childbirth and sexual safety, then you’ll be heading to Kawasaki Daishi station. For the modern lights and sights, Kawasaki station itself, and for art and history, Mukougaoka-yuen station.

Kawasaki Daishi Temple

Kawasaki Daishi station is where you’ll find Kawasaki Daishi Temple. Built in 1128, this temple was dedicated to the monk Kukai, Kobo Daishi, who first introduced Buddhism to Japan in the 800s. Kawasaki Daishi is famed for its ability to prevent disaster and ward off evil. In the summer, they host a wind chime festival, where visitors can buy handcrafted wind chimes by artists from across Japan, while at New Year’s, over three million people come to pray for safety and good fortune in the year to come. The road to this temple has several small shops selling everything from Japanese sweets to daruma statues, and traditional goods of all kinds.

• Address: 4-48 Kawasaki Daishimachi, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Closest Station: Kawasaki Daishi
• Opening Hours: 5:30 a.m.- 6 p.m. (April to September), 6 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. (October to March) 
• Website: Official link

Kanayama Shrine

During the rest of the year, Kanayama Shrine is fairly quiet and unsuspecting, but on the first Sunday in April, it becomes packed with people seeking blessings for fertility, safe childbirth, good marital relationships, and business prosperity. It’s also known overseas as “the Penis Festival.” In recent years, the Kanamara Matsuri has also become one of the biggest LGBT+ events on the social calendar.

• Address: 2-13-16 Daishi Ekimae, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Closest Station: Kawasaki Daishi
• Opening Hours: Open 24h; shrine shop hours vary.
• Website: Official link

Kawasaki Station

Kawasaki station itself is full of shops, restaurants, and so much more, but there are a few places and events that no one should miss.

If you’d like to see something truly different, then taking in the industrial history of Kawasaki via a Factory Night View tour might be for you. These are bus and boat tours that offer these colorful alternative views, including some that are not normally open to the public. One must-see spot is the Nemoto Shipyard, which also provides amazing views of the surrounding factory areas.

Those visiting Kawasaki in August should not miss the Awa-Odori. Taking place from August 12th-15th every year, the streets of Kawasaki are taken over by hundreds of dancers in colorful costumes, and the sounds of drums and flutes playing traditional Japanese music. It is a must-see for those wanting to experience a high-energy, one-of-a-kind event.

Mukougaoka-yuen Station

Part of Kawasaki ward, but about 35 minutes from Kawasaki station by train, Mukougaoka-yuen station might seem like a sleepy bedroom town, but it’s home to must-see art, culture, and history spots that will appeal to people with varied interests.

Ikuta Ryokuchi Park

First is Ikuta Ryokuchi Park, a nature spot filled with stunning seasonal flowers (cherry blossoms, roses, and irises being the main ones), a historical burial ground, and an observatory on the top of Mt. Masugata.  Within this park are several facilities that will keep you busy all day long, but the following three are the most exciting if you’re on a day out.

• Address: 7-1-4 Masugata, Tama Ward, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Ticket Price: Free (to the park itself)
• Opening Hours: Open 24h; East Gate visitors center 8:30 a.m.- 5 p.m.
• Website: Official link

The Japan Open-Air Folk House Museum

Nihon Minka-en (The Japan Open-Air Folk House Museum) is an open-air museum built in 1967 to showcase various examples of traditional private homes from across Japan—some dating back 200-300 years. Each structure is a designated cultural property, and most are open to the public.

• Address: 7-1-1 Masugata, Tama, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Ticket Price: Adults ¥550, Students (High School/ College) ¥330, Students (Junior High School) and under / Senior (over 65 years) Free (ID card is required)
• Opening Hours: 9:30-5 p.m. March to October (last admission 4:30 p.m.); 9:30-4:30 p.m. (last admission 4 p.m.); closed Mondays (schedule may vary; see website for details.)
• Website: Official link

Kawasaki Municipal Science Museum

Kawasaki Sora To Midori No Kagaku Kan (Kawasaki Municipal Science Museum) is a science museum famous for its planetarium, but it also offers natural science studies and special experiments. Here you’ll find fossils of ancient creatures found in Kawasaki, too.

• Address: 7-1-2 Masugata, Tama, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Ticket Price: Free (to the museum), Planetarium Admission: Adults ¥400, Students (High School/ College) ¥200, Students (Junior High School and under) and Adults (over 65 years) free
• Opening Hours: 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m.; closed Mondays
• Website: Official link

Taro Okamoto Museum of Art

The final facility within Ikuta Ryokuchi Park that is highly recommended is the Taro Okamoto Museum of Art. Born in Kawasaki, Kanagawa, Taro Okamoto was an internationally known avant-garde artist who is best known for the statue the Tower of the Sun, located in Osaka’s Expo Commemoration Park, and the Myth of Tomorrow, a towering mural found in Shibuya’s Mark City, near the Inokashira Line.

• Address: 7-1-5 Masugata, Tama, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Ticket Price: Varies by exhibition
• Opening Hours: 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m.(last admission 4:30 p.m.)
• Website: Official link

Fujiko F. Fujio Museum

Fans of Japanese anime and manga are sure to have heard of Doraemon before. Fujiko F. Fujio Museum pays homage to Fujiko F. Fujio’s vast body of work and includes indoor and outdoor exhibits, a cafe and limited-edition goods available only here. Tickets to this museum must be purchased in advance at convenience stores from their ticket machines and only six tickets may be purchased per group.

• Address: 2-8-1 Nagao, Tama, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Ticket Price: Adult(ages 18 & over) ¥1,000, Junior (ages 13-17) ¥700, Child (ages 4-12) ¥500, under 3 free
• Opening Hours: 10 a.m.-6 p.m., closed Tuesdays
• Website: Official link

Where To Shop in Kawasaki

Kawasaki Station is surrounded by shopping centers, so you can find practically anything you’re looking for here.

Lazona Kawasaki

The largest mall in the area is Lazona Kawasaki, which is connected to the station. There are over 300 shops here, including MUJI and Uniqlo, as well as international brands like Tommy Hilfiger and Zara.

• Address: 7-2-1 Horikawacho, Saiwai, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Opening Hours: Shops: 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Restaurants: 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Hours may vary by shop.
• Website: Official link

Atre Kawasaki

Also connected to JR Kawasaki Station is Atre Kawasaki, a shopping center focused more on women’s fashion, general stores, international boutiques and cosmetics shops like LUSH and Plaza, and many cozy little restaurants.

• Address: 26-1 Ekimae Honcho, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Opening Hours: Shops: 10 a.m.- 9 p.m., Restaurants: 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.
• Website: Official link

Azalea

Azalea is the underground mall immediately connected to JR Kawasaki station’s east exit, and has a little bit of everything. Divided into three areas, this mall can be a whole-day experience and is a great date spot on rainy days.

• Address: 26-2 Ekimae Honcho, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Opening Hours: Delichika & LifeGrand 10 a.m.-9 p.m., Gourmesse 11 a.m.- 11 p.m.
• Website: Official link

La Cittadella

La Cittadella is a large shopping, cinema and event complex where you can take in concerts, cultural events, and shop ‘til you drop. There are also scores of restaurants and cafes to choose from. It’s also home to a popular wedding venue and some couples visit it every year on their wedding anniversary as well.

• Address: 4-1 Ogawacho, Kawasaki Ward, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Opening Hours: Shops & Cafes: 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Restaurants: 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m.; other services vary.
• Website: Official link

Where To Eat in Kawasaki

There are literally hundreds of restaurants, izakayas, and cafes to choose from in and around the Kawasaki station area. There are, of course, scores of franchise locations for places like Sweets Paradise, Genki Sushi, and so on, and each of the shopping malls has plenty of dining spots too.

For a more local experience, checking out a shopping street is your best bet. Kawasaki Ginryugai Shopping Street is home to standing noodle shops, izakayas, yakinikku, and fast food spots.

Ginryugai Shopping Street

• Address: 3-7 Ekimae Honcho, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Website: Official link

Kawasaki Ginza Shopping Street

• Address: 1-1-12-401 Ekimae Honcho, Kawasaki, Kanagawa (Map)
• Website: Official link

If you want to get out of the city and enjoy a wide variety of experiences and plenty of Japanese culture, both past and present—with fewer crowds—then Kawasaki is the place for you.

Getting There

Kawasaki station is twenty minutes from Tokyo station on the Tokaido Line, and less than thirty minutes from Shibuya station (take the Yamanote to Shinagawa and then the Tokaido Line).

Dear Hilary,

Recently, I’ve started going out for dinner often with an employee from the same company but a different department who joined last year. We chat during working hours too when we aren’t busy. I enjoy spending time with her, chatting with her, and it seems like she enjoys it too. I’ve started to like her and find myself thinking about her now and then. I’ve even lost interest in other women romantically after meeting her. But here’s the twist: she’s in early 20s, and I’m in my mid‑30s. She’s Japanese, and I’m a foreigner. She’s beautiful, and I’m… well, fat. Sometimes, when I’m feeling confident and motivated, I think that appearance, age and nationality shouldn’t matter, and I feel like expressing my feelings. But then I remind myself that this isn’t a movie or a fairy tale, and I don’t want to ruin what we currently have.

On top of that, she’s looking for a boyfriend, and although I wish her good luck and give advice too, it’s only half‑hearted. If she liked me, she wouldn’t have told me that she is looking for a boyfriend. I do feel she just sees me as a good friend, which is not bad at all. My love story with her might never happen, but I want her to live her story happily. It won’t take much time for her to get a boyfriend because she is kind, smart, beautiful, young, and has a lovely smile. I’ll definitely be jealous when she gets a boyfriend, haha. But when she gets one, I hope she gets the best. Also, it’s quite obvious that we won’t be hanging out like now once she gets one.

If she were from another company, I might have taken a chance, but the same company can complicate things. So my question is: how do I deal with my current state of mind? – Incomplete Love Story

Dear Incomplete Love Story,

I don’t often get emails from men, so thank you for writing. Yours is a situation I’ve unfortunately seen a number of times from people who have come to Japan for work. I agree that appearance, age, and nationality should not matter, but given that she is your coworker, you should proceed with caution.

How often do you and your coworker go out for dinner together? It’s not clear from your email, but it sounds like you’re in a “just talking” sort of relationship. According to your email, your coworker has also expressed an interest in finding a boyfriend. There are two ways to interpret this: she is interested in you or she’s coming to you for advice about a different guy.

There is no way of telling without asking her, and that can lead to various other issues.

Personally, I don’t believe in dating anyone where you work because of how it can complicate your livelihood and visa status if things go wrong. That said, unless your company has anti-fraternization rules, you are allowed to spend time with anyone you want.

If you want to find out how your coworker feels, start by being honest with yourself. Ask yourself how often she initiates your hangouts versus how often you initiate them. If she does initiate, what sorts of places does she suggest? Does she suggest others join in as well? Depending on your answers to these questions, you may gain a better understanding of how your coworker feels about you.

On the other hand, if you want to know directly, you can simply ask her. Unfortunately, you can’t go back from there; if you ask and she wants to date you, then that’s wonderful. If she doesn’t, then things will be awkward between you at work.

You seem to not only understand how you feel, but have already come to the conclusion that you shouldn’t confess how you feel to her.

You should be proud of yourself for being able to remain logical in the face of such overwhelming feelings.

Dealing with your current state of mind won’t be easy, but there are some things you can do to regain a sense of balance and step back from this situation without hurting yourself, her, or your work.

You’ve already started by acknowledging your feelings, which is good. Limiting your interactions with her to professional ones only, and redirecting your energy towards your work and personal life are two other steps you can take.

Getting over a crush takes time, but if you redirect your energy, you might find love somewhere else. For example, joining an activity or participating in an event can open up whole new worlds for you. Don’t beat yourself up for having a crush. You’re human, you’re allowed to have feelings. It’s how you deal with them that matters. Good luck.

Hey Hilary,

I’m an American woman in her early thirties and I was dating a Japanese man in his mid-thirties until just before Christmas. We were only dating for a year, but when we met (from a Japanese matching app), it was love at first sight for me. He lived with his parents so I never visited his home, but he came over all the time. We talked about someday getting married and maybe having children. After our one year anniversary I mentioned moving in together. He told me he needed time to think about it.

The next day, I didn’t get any LINE messages from him, and the ones I sent him weren’t read either. I tried calling him but it didn’t go through, and I think he blocked me on Instagram too. I don’t understand how he could just ghost me after being together for a whole year. Is that a Japanese thing, or is he just a jerk? – Got Ghosted

Dear Got Ghosted,

Well, I’m tempted to say that he’s just a jerk, and I’m sure that’s a big part of why he chose to ghost you after dating for a year. I doubt it’s the only reason why.

This isn’t strictly a Japanese thing, or a man thing either. He might have come to the conclusion that the relationship wasn’t working for him and therefore he ended things. Ended them in a cold, cruel fashion, yes, but that could be it. You mentioned meeting via a dating app; if the app wasn’t marriage-focused, he might not have been genuinely interested in anything long-term.

There’s also a chance that he was already taken and realized he couldn’t keep the affair going.

Talking about marriage and kids is one thing, actually moving in with another person and building a life together is another. You said that he lived with his parents so you’d never been to his place – that is a pretty big red flag, to be honest. Yes, it could be true, but it’s also a very convenient way of keeping you at arm’s length.

Did you ever meet any of his friends, or were you ever made a public part of his life? There are plenty of Japanese men who are interested in having their partners meet their inner circle when they’re in a serious relationship. That said, there are also just as many who won’t introduce their partners to their parents until they’re asking for a marriage blessing. If your answer to either of these questions is no, then he was definitely keeping you in the dark.

Whatever his reasoning was, it was hurtful and, most importantly, not your fault.

There is nothing wrong with asking your boyfriend of a year if he wants to move in with you. His reaction is not your fault, nor is it your responsibility to try and understand or justify what he did. You’ll only frustrate yourself if you do.

Getting closure is next to impossible when someone ghosts you. I encourage you to focus on yourself instead. Be kind to yourself.

Got a question you’d like to ask Hilary? Email it to askhilary@savvytokyo.com with the subject “Ask Hilary.”

Once you’ve been with someone for a while, your interactions can become routine. However, when you’ve been in a relationship for long enough, it’s easy to start taking your partner for granted. It doesn’t matter what ethnicity or gender your partner is; everyone can, in some way or another, forget that they’re supposed to love their other half. When that happens, issues start to crop up, which can lead to resentment, and especially for long-term couples in Japan, that can ultimately lead to sotsukon or divorce. Here are some things you and your partner can do to bring the spark back to your relationship.

Popular Relationship Rules

These rules are intended to give you and your partner guidance on how to spend time together and communicate more efficiently and meaningfully.

The 70-30 Rule

Some relationship experts believe that dividing the time you spend with your partner (outside of work hours) can not only help you but also build a stronger relationship. The idea here is to spend 70% of your time with your partner and 30% by yourself/with friends.

The 7-7-7 Rule

Have a date night every seven days, a weekend getaway every seven weeks and a longer, romantic vacation every seven months. This timeline is designed to provide structured opportunities for intentional quality time for a couple, and therefore to encourage intimacy, fun and rebuilding the connection between partners. Essentially, the goal is for both partners to make consistent, concentrated efforts to be together.

The 5-5-5 Rule

This is a mindfulness and communication tool that individuals and couples can use when conflicts arise. Basically, when faced with an issue, you pause and consider whether said issue will matter in five minutes, five days or five years. This way, you can shift your focus to what really matters, and de-escalate an argument if you’re speaking with your partner.

For some couples, keeping these rules in mind can do wonders for their relationship. For others, not so much, which is why there are other practices that people can put into place to rebuild their relationship.

Best General Practices

There are five general practices every couple should keep in mind in order to keep the spark alive in their relationship.

1. Communicate

While it seems obvious, it’s shockingly easy to make communicating with your partner perfunctory. Questions asked while staring at your phone screen, listing things that need doing/purchasing to one another, and otherwise sharing only the briefest of conversations is a death sentence to many relationships.

Couples in Japan, especially in relationships where there may be a somewhat of a language barrier, might find it easier to communicate via text. You could try writing letters to one another, or better yet, try your own version of a language exchange session. It doesn’t matter what language you speak together, so long as you both put in the effort to communicate. Sometimes studying together can be what gets a couple back in sync.

2. Be Considerate

Being polite is not the same as being considerate, and in many cases, people stop being considerate of one another after being in a relationship for a long time. Thanking your partner for making dinner or taking out the garbage, telling them that you’re grateful for something they’ve done and otherwise acknowledging them can go a long way.

If you aren’t comfortable expressing things in words, then acts of service can help. Taking care of a task for them, running the bath for them or bringing them flowers or their favorite treat “just because” are some good places to start.

3. Keep Your Partner Involved

This should be obvious, but don’t shut your partner out of your life. “How was work today?” “Good.” Plenty of people are guilty of having these short, ultimately meaningless exchanges with their partners, and they aren’t a big deal—unless that’s all you share with your partner.

When both parties keep their personal details to themselves, the relationship can quickly break down into a roommate situation. Of course, some people are fine with a platonic or companionship-based relationship, but if that’s not what either of you wants, you need to open up and share more about your lives.

4. Change Things Up

As people grow older, their hobbies and interests will naturally change. For some couples, they discover that they don’t have as much in common with their partner as they once did. This is exceptionally common for retired couples, but it can happen at any age.

That doesn’t mean you’ve grown apart or that you’re no longer a good fit for one another. Unless the changes are extreme, you and your partner now have the opportunity to find new interests or hobbies to enjoy together.

There is no shortage of classes, trial lessons, events, or festivals in Japan at any given time of the year, and many are free to join. To find out what’s happening in Tokyo each month, check out this link.

5. Express Affection and Encourage Intimacy

Affection and physical intimacy are often the first things to disappear when a relationship takes a downward turn. It can be hard to make time or be interested in being affectionate or intimate when you’re working, taking care of kids or dealing with stress. Performance issues can also arise that make intimacy difficult, if not impossible, at times.

That does not mean you’re bound for a dead bedroom or sexless marriage. If anything, it’s an opportunity to remember what was so good about the honeymoon period in your relationship. For some couples in Japan, the best way to overcome a dead bedroom is to try to recapture that new couple feeling, even if the physical side of things is off the table at first. You could, for example, try having a monthly date with one another. 

Not that you need to go all out, either. Something as simple as a cheeky text message telling them you think they’re cute/sexy can do wonders. So can stopping to give your partner a peck on the cheek, holding their hand while grocery shopping, or giving them a genuine compliment can turn that spark into a roaring flame all over again. There are plenty of ways (and lovely places!) to keep that flame burning too, especially in Japan.

Professional Help

What if nothing seems to be helping? Perhaps you’ve recognized that there’s a problem and your partner doesn’t see it. In either case, sometimes the best option for your mental health, and for the sake of your relationship, is to seek professional help.

There are numerous options for individual and couples’ counseling in Tokyo. For more information on finding a counselor, please take a look at this article.

Keeping the spark alive takes effort from both partners, and it doesn’t happen overnight. If you can be patient and understanding with one another, eventually you’ll find your way again.

Do you have any advice for long term couples in Japan? Share them with us in the comments!

Living in Japan isn’t all sunshine and sushi, and yet many people make it a permanent move. With all the culture shock, work and immigration factors to consider, many may neglect their long-term health. I’m guilty of that myself, and as a result, I ended up with a health scare a year ago. I’m not the only one; many foreign residents also discover unexpected health conditions during their time in Japan. In this article, we’ll cover common lifestyle illnesses in Japan, why they’re often found late and feature real-life stories.

What Is A Lifestyle Illness?

A lifestyle illness, or seikatsu shukan byo (生活習慣病), is a non-communicable disease caused by a person’s lifestyle or habits. The term was first proposed in 1996 by the Ministry of Health and Welfare’s Council on Public Health, intended to differentiate it from non-communicable diseases and conditions strongly associated with aging.

A lack of physical activity, unhealthy eating habits and smoking are the main factors behind developing a lifestyle illness. However, your ethnicity and family history can also influence how your health evolves.

Some common lifestyle illnesses in Japan include:

Lifestyle illnesses often come without any warning symptoms or with symptoms that can easily be ignored or attributed to another health issue. It is typically a condition that can’t be cured outright but can be managed, often with prescription medicines and lifestyle changes. Illness rates in general increase dramatically from about age 40, which is why your Japanese national health insurance rate increases at that age, too.

“You have to start paying for the Long-Term Care Insurance Premium at 40, in order to provide for the long-term care needs of the elderly, but also for anyone over 40 who has an age or lifestyle-related illness. It’s expensive, but beneficial” (Keiko, Japanese, 31).

Getting A Diagnosis in Japan

If something feels “off”, see your doctor as soon as you can. As women, our medical needs are often ignored, so advocate for yourself or maybe get a friend or partner involved, too. To learn more about the process of consulting a doctor in Japan, refer to this article.

In my case, I was getting routine blood work when I was diagnosed with vitamin B12 deficiency and a couple of levels my doctor called “interesting.” I’m not sure I like hearing a medical professional say that in any language, but in Japanese, it somehow feels more worrisome. Going to the doctor doesn’t have to be scary. If you aren’t comfortable speaking Japanese, it’s not always easy to express what your health concerns are to a doctor here, either.

“I smoked, I gained weight while living in Japan. I had a check-up, and when I mentioned some breathing trouble to my wife, she told my doctor, and he had me go to the hospital for some testing. Long story short, I had a tumor in my lungs. I had to quit smoking, change my diet and lose weight… It took years to undo the damage I did to myself” (Scott, American, 57).

“I’m no spring chicken, so when I was told I had non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (Metabolic dysfunction–associated steatotic liver disease), I assumed it was from age. No, apparently my diet had been doing me in for years and I never noticed it until I got these yellow spots on my eyelids” (Kathy, American, 65).

“I got homesick, living in Japan for so long, and I started eating more dishes like those my mother made. I was diagnosed with hypertension after my employee health check” (Sarah, British, 43).

Living With A Lifestyle Illness

Being diagnosed with a lifestyle illness is a sign that, while serious, you can still reduce the effects of the condition on your health. That being said, making drastic changes to your lifestyle is easier said than done. Starting to exercise, changing your diet, stopping bad habits, taking medications and that with whatever else you have going on in your life is a huge hurdle.

“I work long hours. I know I live a sedentary lifestyle, but now I’ve been told I need to start moving or else I’m going to die before I’m 60. It’s ridiculous, really. I spend my best years working hard, and then all that work means I’ll die before I can retire?” (Masato, Japanese-American, 50).

“When I was first diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, my first thought was to move home. Health care is free, or at least cheaper there, and I’d have my family to support me. I still consider it when things get tough, but I’m getting better at coping” (Lindsey, Canadian, 42).

“Hearing that I had cancer was like a punch in the gut. I’ve never felt more alone in my life, and I know I went a bit anti-social as a result. I suppose you could say I was a hikikomori, or at least withdrawn, while I got treatment” (Paul, Australian, 47).

The psychological impact of learning you have a lifestyle illness can be surprising, too.

Building Healthy Habits

Whatever your diagnosis is, doing what’s best for your health (mental and physical) is vital. Aside from taking your medications (if applicable), here are some other things to prioritize:

• Educating yourself as thoroughly as possible about your current diagnosis.
• Scheduling regular checkups with your doctor.
• Going for regular walks in your neighborhood is far easier (and cheaper) than joining a gym all of a sudden.
• If you need to change your diet, consider a grocery or meal service while you make your adjustments. Eat a more balanced diet of whole foods while reducing or eliminating processed foods as much as possible.
• Managing your stress by journaling, meditating and other mindfulness practices.
• Focusing on getting good quality sleep each night.
• Sharing your diagnosis with your friends and family so you can receive the support you need.

Hopefully, while making these changes, you’ll be able to live a long and happy life despite this diagnosis. “You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out” is the advice my own doctor gave me, and so far, it seems to be working. Be well!

The new year is here, and for romantics at heart, it’s the perfect time to start thinking about dating in 2026. There are plenty of options to choose from when it comes to date ideas in Japan, but sometimes things can get repetitive. If you want to fill your year with excitement, then how about planning monthly themed dates?

January: Visit A Shrine

© Photo by iStock: ablokhin

It’s the first month of the year, so it’s probably a wise idea to visit a traditional shrine to pray for luck in love. You can, of course, take yourself on a solo date to pray for love, but if you have a partner, you can also go to a shrine to pray that your relationship goes the distance.

While there are scores of shrines to visit all over Japan, there are 15 matchmaking shrines in Tokyo alone that come highly recommended. You could even consider getting professionally dressed in a kimono before your visit.

Don’t forget to read up on how to properly pray at a shrine too!

February: Romance Galore

© Photo by iStock: tdub_video

February is already chockablock with Valentine’s things to see and do, but the weather can be really iffy. There could be heavy snow or just damp, icky weather that keeps you inside instead.

If it’s fair weather, then going out to see the last of the seasonal illuminations or visiting one of the many plum blossom festivals can be a great way to pass the time with your partner.

If it’s snowy or too chilly to head outdoors, then why not try staying in and baking together? You can shop for ingredients with ease and make something special for your partner or to share together, too.

March: Mountain Climbing

© Photo by iStock: taka4332

March is an excellent month to start spending time outdoors. Forest bathing, whether done alone or with a partner, is a great way to reset and refresh yourself. March is also when White Day takes place, but that can be contentious.

You might not be up for climbing a major mountain (and most are still closed at this time of year), but there are lots of relatively easy places to hike in the greater Tokyo area. Mount Takao, for example, also has its Hiwatari-sai (Fire-Walking Festival) on the second Sunday in March, and its beer garden opens at the end of March as well.

April: All The Flowers

© Photo by iStock: Mystockimages

April is the start of the new year in many ways in Japan. It’s time for new beginnings and starting afresh. Cherry blossoms may be the darling of late March to mid-April, but there’s also Golden Week at the end of the month to consider.

Flower-based dates are ideal in the fourth month of the year. There are cherry blossoms, azaleas (such as the Bunkyo Azalea Festival), moss flox (the Chichibu Shibazakura Festival in Saitama) and wisteria too.

May: Weather-Depending Dates

© Photo by iStock: recep-bg

May, with the tail end of Golden Week at the start, is also when the rainy season starts, so having open-ended plans is best for this month. It’s also a month where people suffer from Gogatsu-byo, and things seem to go topsy-turvy for many people and relationships.

If you have to stay in, then perhaps something relaxing and straightforward is the best approach. Face masks, catching up on movies and so on are good ways to reaffirm your connection as a couple.

If you can go out, visiting a flower garden (such as an iris or hydrangea garden) is another option. Additionally, there are international cultural festivals and street dance festivals to consider.

June: Seaside Events

© Photo by iStock: Satoshi-K

Once June arrives, Japanese summer starts in earnest. It’s hot, humid and there are more festivals and events than anyone can visit in a single month. It’s the ideal month for couples who love to get out and see things and don’t mind the weather.

Places like Odaiba Marine Park are great if you want to stay in Tokyo, but if you don’t mind traveling a little, then there are plenty of popular and less-crowded beaches only a short train ride away, too. You could even turn a date into a mini vacation with your partner.

July: Festivals Galore

© Photo by iStock: recep-bg

July is even hotter, it’s sticky, and yet, there’s plenty to enjoy on a date in Tokyo still.

There are beer gardens, summer festivals with fireworks, and of course, the best holiday for couples: Tanabata. Why not celebrate those star-crossed lovers by attending a Tanabata festival and spending the evening with your loved one?

August: Spooky Spots

© Photo by iStock: petesphotography

August is when Obon takes place, and while not everyone is a horror fan, August is definitely the time when spooky date spots are a big hit.

There are Bon Odori dance festivals, plus haunted houses, and tests of courage you and your partner can embark upon together.

If horror isn’t your thing, there are still dozens of firework festivals, as well as the Fuurin Matsuri (Windchime festival) at Kawagoe’s Hikawa Shrine in Saitama.

September: Big Events & Markets

© Photo by iStock: Yagi-Studio

September tends to be a shift in the seasonal calendar. While it’s still hot and humid out, there are more fall-friendly events, as well as major events like the Tokyo Game Show and the September Grand Sumo tournament, too.

Art galleries and museums often change their special exhibits at this time; there are also more antique and vintage markets, as well as farmers’ markets (both famous and lesser-known). Overall, the mood tends to be one of preparing for the fall colors.

October: Roses & Retro Spots

© Photo by iStock: TkKurikawa

Ideally, the weather starts to cool down in October, but that isn’t often the case. Mid-October to November marks the fall season for roses, and Tokyo boasts some of the most beautiful rose gardens around.

October’s also a great time to visit cultural destinations like the Shunkaen Bonsai Museum, or retro cool places like Asakusa’s Hanayashiki Amusement Park. If you want to do a full day’s worth of retro sightseeing on a date, then this showa dreamscape article might give you some inspiration.

November: Fall Leaves

© Photo by iStock: bambino

November is, of course, when the fall colors reach their peak (especially in Tokyo), so visiting parks and gardens or going for hikes followed by a stop at a cafe tends to be the standard November date experience.

For Americans (or turkey fans) in Tokyo, going on a Thanksgiving date might be a unique experience for you and your partner too. There are plenty of places to enjoy a Thanksgiving feast in Tokyo.

November also tends to be when Christmas markets, illuminations, and events start to crop up, if you don’t mind starting the celebration early.

December: Christmas & Strawberries

© Photo by iStock: monzenmachi

Christmas is arguably the biggest date night of the year in Japan. Celebrating with your partner comes with its own list of traditions, but Christmas illuminations, Christmas markets, and, of course, Japanese Christmas cakes are all musts.

Although it’s more common in the spring, the strawberry-picking season technically starts in December in Japan. If you’d like a slightly off-beat December date, picking and eating your own strawberries is a great way to end a romance-filled year.

There you have it—a year’s worth of seasonally appropriate date ideas in Japan. You can even customize to meet you and your partner’s interests by looking at the latest Savvy articles on seasonal events.

Dear Hilary—What’s Wrong With A Traditional New Year’s?

Like many people who come to Japan, I came for the culture. At first it was anime and manga, but after I got here I became completely obsessed with Japanese traditions—especially holidays. I celebrate everything I can, and New Year’s is no exception. I even took classes on different subjects, so I wouldn’t be disrespectful. In fact, my former Japanese boyfriend and I used to attend traditional events together.

However, early this year I started dating someone new (he’s Japanese too), and about a week ago when I mentioned that I was excited to make my own osechi again. He gave me this really rude look and asked why I bothered since I’m foreign. He said that it was “weird” to want to make osechi or to go to a shrine and that I should be drinking champagne and having a “real party like normal people” do. I laughed it off, but now I feel really awkward about discussing anything related to end-of-year plans with him.

He’s already started talking about what we’re doing for Christmas, which, oddly enough, in his mind is a totally Japanese-style date, but now I’m not so sure I want to do that, or anything with him, to be honest. I’ve been using work as an excuse not to see him at the moment because I really can’t figure out what his issue is. What do you think?

—Akeome

Dear Akeome,

Wow! Before I get into your message, I just want to say how impressed I am that you make your own osechi (traditional Japanese New Year’s foods). I’ve only ever attempted it once but I’m pretty sure toshi-koshi (New Year’s Eve) soba is my limit.

You seem to disagree with what your boyfriend is saying, which is entirely understandable. I’m curious as to why he feels it’s so strange for you to celebrate a traditional Japanese New Year’s, though. The whole “why bother since you’re foreign” in particular stands out to me.

First things first: have you taken part in, celebrated or otherwise shown an understanding of or appreciation for Japanese traditions thus far in your relationship? Did he make any comments, positive or negative, about that? Did he join in or did he refuse to take part?

If so, and the comments were positive and/or he took part as well, then it could be that he has a problem with New Year’s specifically. It’s the end of the year, people are stressed out at work, there can be a lot of pressure to make things a certain way for the family’s sake, and so on. It can also be a depressing or difficult time of year. For example, an acquaintance of mine lost several family members around the New Year, and as such doesn’t celebrate it in the traditional fashion. Another friend is estranged from their family and prefers to go out to parties instead.

It could also just be osechi itself that is the issue.

I know at least four Japanese people that absolutely hate the stuff and would rather eat anything else. Or your boyfriend might simply prefer a Western-style New Year’s bash to a Japanese one and be struggling to explain this sentiment to you.

On the other hand, if your boyfriend is chronically negative or put-off by your appreciation of Japanese culture, his comment could be symptomatic of a different problem with your relationship. If he, for example, takes issue with you wearing a yukata/kimono, visiting temples and shrines, or even something as small as using chopsticks, then he might be gatekeeping his culture or trying to keep you foreign for his own purposes.

Does he mock or put down Japanese culture? Or is your appreciation of Japanese culture a common complaint of his? I might start to question why he’s dating you if that’s the case. He may not be dating you for you so much as for the fact that you’re not Japanese.

It’s not that uncommon for some Japanese men (across all age groups) to have a foreign fetish.

As it were, and to use dating someone non-Japanese to make themselves feel better, or even elevate their social or career status. Some do as it gives them the appearance of being worldly or even capable of speaking another language, when in fact they cannot.

They see dating a foreigner as a stepping stone to better things, be that:

• Hafu-children, who are often sterotyped to have an envious multicultral look and abliity to speak multiple langauges
• An “automatic” visa enabling them to live overseas
• “Free” accommodations if they travel to their partner’s home country

Basically dating a foreigner is a relationship “full of perks” for them.

While they tend to come in a variety of types, the overall trend among this kind of man is a loathing or self-deprecating view of their own culture as being somehow “less than” that of Western culture. That manifests in certain expectations of non-Japanese people–namely, that they don’t take part in Japanese traditions. Some might even prefer their non-Japanese partners to actively participate in mocking those traditions alongside them.

“Sometimes Japanese guys who are obsessed with foreigners, especially white ones, have hang-ups about being Japanese. They want to be seen as this cool, exotic Japanese, but global kind of guy. But if their partner knows more about their culture than they do, they start feeling insecure about themselves. They realize they aren’t special and probably not what their partner is looking for because they don’t know their own culture, and act defensively. They’re willing to bully their partner away from Japanese culture in order to maintain that foreignness they covet.” (Japanese man, 42).

Uno Reverse It!

While not exactly the nicest of routes to take, if your boyfriend thinks it’s “weird” for you to have a Japanese-style New Year’s, then I might tell him that you would prefer to celebrate Christmas “like a foreigner”. That means no KFC, no strawberry shortcake and no sexy Santa costumes that seem to form the basis of many Japanese Christmas fantasies.

Having a clear discussion about why he feels that way about your making osechi should settle the matter clearly. He either dislikes Japanese New Year’s for his own reasons or, if he’s chronically against your taking part in Japanese culture, you and he simply have values that don’t match up.

If that turns out to be the case, then perhaps you should reconsider the relationship as you obviously have invested time, energy and money into studying them and don’t want to give that up. Best of luck.

Got a question you’d like to ask Hilary? Email it to askhilary@savvytokyo.com with the subject “Ask Hilary.”

The actual meaning of Japanese Christmas is rather challenging to explain. Being a non-Christian nation, Christmas is not celebrated as a religious or even family-based event here. It’s not even a public holiday! Most companies and some schools will stay open until the last possible moment of the year, an oft-lamented fact that non-Japanese (myself included) find impossible to accept.

But if it’s not a holiday and it’s not a family or child-focused event, then what is it? Well, for many of the younger Japanese, Christmas is seen as more of a romantic holiday. It’s like the precursor to Valentine’s. And being such, you may as well experience (and enjoy) a typical Japanese Christmas date. So, here are a few tips to get started and what to expect.

Beware of “Quarter Men”

© Photo by iStock: hironakajima

For those using Tinder or other dating apps, you might find a sudden surge in the number of likes and message requests that you receive in the weeks leading up to Christmas. While this is certainly a boost to the ego, be wary of any guys that send a formulaic message—or you might find yourself chatting and making plans with a “quarter man”.

Quartermen are the guys who want a girlfriend around major holidays, but only when it’s convenient for them; they only date for a fixed period of three months—or one quarter, hence the name—then it’s goodbye. Summer flings fall into this category as well—lovely for three months but gone as soon as the weather changes.

The ones that start out in December are looking for someone to keep around from Christmas to Valentine’s Day. Then, come February 15th, you might find yourself single, which is really unfair considering March 14th is White Day, a commercial holiday many guys choose to ignore.

The Ideal Christmas Date

© Photo by iStock: wnmkm

My ex-fiancé once meticulously planned out the ideal Japanese Christmas date. I’ll break it down into its respective parts for you here.

Shopping & Sightseeing

Department stores have massive Christmas trees, impressive displays and lots of seasonal activities and music to really get you in the festive mood. Many might have already started their pre-New Year sales too. There are also various European-inspired Christmas markets held throughout Tokyo and beyond. You can grab a bite to eat here and buy a trinket or ornament to take home.

A Stop At A Pop-Up Ice Skating Rink

Shopping plazas often feature large, winter-only ice skating rinks in their central areas, complete with skate rentals and restrooms. Here are some of the places with these temporary rinks:

• Futakotamagawa Rise
• Tokyo Midtown
• Red Brick Warehouse in Yokohama

A Romantic Lunch & Dinner

This step is more applicable to couples with disposable income. However, many coupon-clippers also like to splash out on a fancy hotel buffet, course dinner or dessert and champagne “snack” in an expensive restaurant this time of year. The only problem, of course, is that many places require reservations far in advance—some with waiting lists that span two years!

A Stroll Through The City’s Illuminations

Shopping plazas, parks and gardens, as well as brand-name shops, stations and shopping streets, go all out when it comes to winter illuminations. These brilliant displays of light are like the winter equivalent of fireworks—one of my friends believes that it’s just not Christmas without a trip to see the lights. These lights are often left up from November to February.

Fried Chicken & Strawberry Shortcakes

Fried chicken, particularly the Kentucky Fried Chicken type, is Japan’s version of a Christmas turkey or goose. Most Japanese ovens are just not equipped to cook a turkey, and even if they could, you often can’t fit a whole turkey inside them in the first place.

For Japan, Christmas cake means strawberry shortcake: plain white cake, white whipped cream icing and real strawberries on top. In the early 1900s, strawberry shortcake was introduced to Japan from America by Rinemon Fujii, the baker behind what later became the Fujiya Co. Ltd, and quickly became a fairly high-class dessert (whipped cream and strawberries were very expensive at the time). In 1922, the Fujiya company began producing these cakes in greater numbers; other bakeries took notice, and the strawberry shortcake became Japan’s Christmas cake of choice. Read more about Japan’s affectionate Christmas cake history here.

Gift Exchange

So it’s time to exchange Christmas gifts. From my experience, there are standard gifts almost expected: a tie, warm scarf or nice gloves for him and some form of jewelry or beauty products for her—all expertly wrapped, of course. These gifts may have been purchased in advance or while you were out shopping together, although some may like a surprise gift exchange instead.

Off To Bed

You may have noticed that the above date doesn’t necessarily have to take place at home. While many couples do celebrate with their own tree and in the comforts of their own home, some prefer to stay at a hotel of some denomination—ryokan (Japanese inn), luxury hotel or even a nice love hotel—for Christmas. This is the reason why:

Naughty Mrs. Claus, Christmas Maid or Elf Cosplay

If you don’t believe me, just walk into your nearest Don Quixote or lingerie store and look at their seasonal display. Some (not all) Japanese men want to see their lady in red lingerie with a skimpy, white fur-trimmed apron or cuffs—one shop a few years back even sold a set with a jingling collar.

Japanese Christmas Culture Shock

© Photo by iStock: jreika

Like many non-Japanese women in Japan, Christmas for me means family, friends, cozy sweaters, Rudolph, presents and spiked eggnog. The Hollywood-infused Japanese Christmas date described above might seem cheesy to even the kindest film critics, not to mention expensive. But it’s part of the culture and something you should experience at least once. If you’re seeing someone special or have a prospective partner, why not plan something special for them yourself?

Have a joyous, lovely Japanese Christmas!

This article has been republished for 2025.

Hey Hilary—I’m Rethinking Life in Japan

You probably receive emails like this all the time, but I’ve broken up with my Japanese boyfriend, and now I’m rethinking everything about my life, including whether to stay in Japan.

I’ve lived in Japan for eight years. My Japanese ex-boyfriend and I work in the same office together; I’ve known him for all eight years, but we only dated for two. Our office has no rules against dating coworkers, and he and I were able to keep our personal and work lives separate for the most part. I don’t want to get into the details of why we broke up, but it came down to wanting different things. We decided to go our separate ways but stay friends.

Now he ignores me at work and when we do have to interact, he’s cold and standoffish. I’m good at my job, and I haven’t had any issues with anyone before the break-up, but this month, for some reason, other coworkers have had complaints about my work.

I feel like he’s brought our break-up into work, and since I’m less senior there than he is, I get the feeling that people are hoping I’ll leave.

I’m starting to seriously consider leaving my job, and Japan as well. I couldn’t easily find another job in my industry, and I would still run the risk of having to interact with my ex and my current company. I could easily work in my industry in my home country and never interact with my ex-boyfriend again.

I’m unsure whether returning overseas makes sense, or if I should relocate within Japan, or stay at my current company until my visa expires. I guess my question is, what would you do in my position?

—Feeling Lost

Dear Feeling Lost,

You’ve been in Japan for some time, and you’ve experienced a significant change in a relationship, which has either directly or indirectly impacted your career as well. Understandably, you’d be feeling lost and conflicted about your future.

One of my favorite movie quotes comes from Olympia Dukakis’s character in Moonstruck: “Don’t s*** where you eat.” As you have unfortunately learned, and despite making it work for a few years, what happens between coworkers who turn into couples rarely stays out of the workplace.

While I can only take your word that your coworkers have never taken issue with your work, this sudden change in your perception in the office is telling. You know your ex best, so I would have to agree that, consciously or not, he has somehow influenced your coworkers against you.

Given that you’re now in a more hostile work environment, it also makes sense that you’d be considering leaving your current job. However, before you do, note this: if he is undermining your work, you may want to bring this to the attention of people higher up in the company.

Harassment of various kinds has become an increasingly pressing issue in Japan recently.

Harassment in the workplace is something the company would take seriously. According to top recruiting companies, your ex’s behavior could fall under power/moral harassment, which includes gossip, mental attacks and purposely excluding people and/or persuading others to do so.

You say that it wouldn’t be easy to find a new, similar position while in Japan, and you would likely still be in contact with your ex and current company.

• Would you feel comfortable still being in contact with him or the company?
• Could you separate what happened from your potential other employer?
• What do you stand to gain and lose if you were to change jobs (or even careers) in Japan?

Perhaps the more complicated question to answer:

• What would you stand to gain and lose if you were to move back to your home country?
• Would the pros outweigh the cons in the long term, or vice versa?

Another important question to consider:

• How much time do you have left on your visa?

If it’s a year or less, you might feel pressured to make decisions quickly, especially with the changing visa fees being discussed in the news these days. Don’t bow to that pressure; give yourself the time to consider your options carefully. Leaving Japan requires a lot of preparation, and if you rush into things, you might come to regret your decision in the long run.

If it’s more than a year, then I would suggest sticking it out for a month or two more at your current job. Things could settle down to relative normal again, or they might not. It’s essential to determine whether this is a temporary reaction on your coworkers’ part or if it is a sign that you should consider finding a new job. You need to know that you’re making the right decision for your career and future.

It’s nearly the end of the year, and I know things can feel more dire in this season, but you need to put yourself first and foremost. Take your time and make sure that you’re seeing things with clear eyes. You know you, so give yourself the grace to breathe, think and come to the right conclusions—best of luck.

Got a question you’d like to ask Hilary? Email it to askhilary@savvytokyo.com with the subject “Ask Hilary.”

There’s no denying that regular walks can help with a number of physical and mental health conditions. Sometimes, however, walking alone can feel tedious. If you are like me and need a goal to keep up a good habit, then perhaps you’d like to try collecting 御城印 (gojyoin; “castle stamps”).

What Are Gojyoin?

While Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples have goshuin (Japanese shrine and temple stamps), Japanese castles have gojyoin. Much like goshuin, gojyoin are sold at various castles around Japan. They can range in price from ¥300 to ¥ 1,000, although special, limited-edition ones for special events may cost more.

The castle stamps are made similarly to goshuin. Images or designs are stamped on washi paper, accompanied by the castle’s name and the date on the paper. Unlike goshuin, however, these papers are often prepared in advance (sometimes printed on a computer) and distributed in paper envelopes upon payment. You will likely have to write the date of your visit on it yourself, although some locations will do this for you instead.

The Origin Of Gojyoin

© Photo by iStock: MasaoTaira

Gojyoin got its start in 1990, when Matsumoto Castle in Nagano prefecture began selling ‘visitation certificates’ to those who came to the castle. They were somewhat popular, but the concept didn’t really gain traction until 2016. Around that time, Gujo Hachiman Castle in Gifu Prefecture (and others) announced that they were donating the proceeds from the sales of these stamps to aid earthquake relief efforts in Kumamoto Prefecture.

As of 2020, there are over 500 castles and historic remains that sell their own castle stamps.

Please note that, while similar, goshuin have somewhat sacred connotations (as they are proof of a pilgrimage in a sense), while gojyoin are more of a souvenir.

Getting Started With Gojyoin

© Photo by Pixta: daysgoby_JPN

First, you’ll need a 御城印帳 (gojyoincho), which is essentially the same sort of book as those for shrine stamps. In fact, some people collect both in the same book as souvenirs from their visits to particularly historically rich areas. However, this is a point of contention among collectors of both. They range in price from ¥1,000 to ¥2,500, while more elaborate or highly customized ones can be found in the ¥3,500 to ¥6,000 range.

Technically speaking, that’s all that you need—although a good pair of walking shoes is highly recommended. Unlike most shrines and temples, Japanese castles tend to be situated on mountains or high above the rest of the city, which often requires hiking. Dressing appropriately is key, as the last thing you want to do is end up with blisters and bruises.

How Do You Collect Gojyoin?

Gojyoin are not only sold at the castles themselves, but may be found in gift shops, tourist information centers or even at highway rest stops. That being said, these locations sometimes close earlier than the castle itself. If there is a stamp you really want to collect, plan ahead and arrive early.

Gojyoin Meguri

Much like with goshuin, you can also go on day trips to collect various castle stamps. There are plenty of books out there to help you get started, too. They’re often located in the domestic travel section of your favorite bookstore.

Sometimes you can even find magazines for specific historical areas or figures that include 御城印巡り (gojyoin meguri) or day trips and hikes that will take you to historical sites and castles where you can collect various gojyoin as well.

If you want to get started locally, then in Tokyo, you can collect gojyoin from the following sites:

• Ishihama Castle (石浜城): visit Ishihama Shrine; (Google Map Link); ¥300-¥500
• Shakujii Castle (石神井城): visit Patisserie Cache-Cache (Google Map Link); ¥300
• Nerima Castle (練馬城): visit Links For Hair Salon (Google Map Link); ¥300
• Takinogawa Castle (滝野川城): visit Love Live Lead Store Souvenir Shop (Google Map Link); ¥440
• Inatsuke Castle (稲付城): visit Love Live Lead Store Souvenir Shop (Google Map Link); ¥440
• Asukayama Castle (飛鳥山城): visit Love Live Lead Store Souvenir Shop (Google Map Link); ¥440

Anyone with a keen knowledge of Tokyo will have noticed that these castles aren’t technically here any longer, or only exist in the form of ruins. In order to collect these gojyoin, you’ll need to visit a shop or shrine near the former castle site.

Outside of Tokyo, there are numerous walking courses to choose from, offering far more options. Chiba Prefecture, for example, has over 100 castle sites with gojyoin. Plus, if you are traveling to check out new castles, you can also try some great B-kyu foods along the way.

If you’re looking for a good reason to get out and walk this winter, consider collecting gojyoin castle stamps.