Otome Games: Could A Virtual Boyfriend Make You Rethink Your Love Life in Japan?

Push play and your date can be a dashing prince, sexy star or a roguish samurai.

What can’t smartphones do? You can take gorgeous photos, shop, study a language and even get your air conditioner cleaned. Of course, you can also use it to find people—actual people—with dating apps, but what if you’re after something to level up your love life without having to endure endless entries of self-absorbed abs selfies? Well, (voice lowered), ladies, there is a way. Japan’s otome games are here to level up your love life and they are totally addictive.

What’s An ‘Otome Game’?

Otome games are story-based video games that feature a leading character (usually the user) who interacts with and eventually dates (or marries!) one of several characters in the game world. The games are first-person and usually written in conversational dialogue.

The player (you) is presented with a situation or question from characters in the game. There are multiple possible replies to choose from in order to continue the game. The reply that you choose will affect how the character replies and will ultimately determine the outcome of that chapter in the story.

Otome games typically have several chapters or seasons for each character within a given game title. You can replay chapters over again with different answers, and see different versions of the story ending, too. They are like romance-based “choose your own adventure” books.

What’s even better is that several Japanese companies, like Voltage, Inc. and Cybird, also produce localized English versions of their most popular games. This means that overseas-based users can play them without having to speak Japanese (while technically dating a Japanese virtual guy!)

Why Are Otome Games So Appealing?

© Photo by iStock: b-bee

There are several reasons for the games’ sustained and growing popularity. For starters, being romanced in a fairytale fashion is something that many women dream about. Women of all ages can go out and date in the real world, but many choose not to. I talked to friends who play the games as well as people I’ve met via game discussions to get some insight into their appeal.

“I don’t have time for a serious boyfriend, so I have a friend with benefits. But when I feel romantic, I play my favorite game. That’s enough for me,” says 31-year-old Mayu.

Many Japanese women are also facing the issue of partially (or, depending on the case, entirely) losing the romance with their partners once they’ve become wives, and especially, mothers. For many, marriage and motherhood mean becoming known as okaasan (mom) and with it, anything romantic (and quite often, sexual) in their lives begins to fade away. If you’re looking for proof of this, log in to any mom chat board. You’ll see hundreds of concerned posts about that.

“I’m glad that I got married and had children, but being ‘just’ a mother hurts. My husband used to be so sweet to me when we first got married. I don’t remember the last time he even gave me a kiss on the cheek.” (Yuuko, Japanese, 59).

Otome games are filled with idealized outings with your partner, elaborate weddings that not many could ever afford in their real lives and romantic gestures that continue well after the characters get married and have children.

Welcome To Fantasy Land

There is also the element of escapism and acting out on your fantasies—without ever having to suffer the consequences. With your game in hand, you can leap out and enjoy a weekend with a handsome man and never worry about a thing. The ability to indulge in something risque without any real-world consequences is thrilling.

For many Japanese women, the escapism that these games offer is more satisfying than a novel or movie-based romance. “I’ve played the same game for three years, and I don’t get tired of it. Movies can’t do that,” says Mika, a 32-year-old Japanese woman, and a frequent otome games user.

“I play four (Otome) games. Four different guys, all with different personality types. I can match what game I play to my mood that day. It gives me comfort that real men often won’t offer.” (Karen, Japanese, 24).

Others cite the freedom the games give them.

There’s no judgment, no slut-shaming—it’s just a game.

“I can choose who I want to date, or I can date all of them at once. I don’t have to worry about what people think. There’s no judgment, no slut-shaming—it’s just a game,” says Rio, 25.

Another user, Emi, in her early 30s, also enjoys virtual intimacy:

“My ex was terrible in bed. With these games, I know the sex isn’t real, but the care they [the characters] put into the act is more than my ex could manage.”

Understanding The Japanese Dating Scene Via Otome Games

© Photo by iStock: electravk

Otome games are also popular with foreign women. The games aren’t the reality of dating in Japan. However, they contain enough grains of that reality to appeal to an audience that hasn’t experienced it for themselves. So, if you’re trying to figure out what the dating scene and the Japanese image of romance are, a reality-based otome game is a great place to start.

For example, going strawberry picking together. To many foreigners, this doesn’t sound very romantic as it conjures up images of school field trips or manual labor. In Japan, however, the idea of going together to a hothouse farm and finding the perfect strawberries, then enjoying desserts (made from your fresh-picked strawberries) is a popular example of a cute winter date.

Dating Advice Offerings

Things like the ideal Christmas date are also heavily featured. According to some foreign players, this made it easier to understand what their boyfriends were after offline, too.

“He had this image of Christmas I couldn’t get. The game I was playing had a Christmas story, so I played it and got some useful tips on where to go and what to do for our date.” (Carrie, Australian, 28).

“My image of romance was very Hollywood—grand gestures, dramatic displays of passion… My Japanese boyfriend was not like that, and I thought he was a cold fish at first. Then I started to see all the little things he was doing. Those were worth more than any flash mob proposal could ever be.” (Sarah, Canadian, 34).

In many otome games, the localization is such that cultural clues are explained in the conversations between the characters. Which means, technically speaking, you’re learning about life in Japan as you play. Furthermore, you can be practically anyone and meet men from all different generations, classes and styles.

Find A Game Based On Your Own Hobbies/Interests

If you’re interested in history, there are Sengoku era games where you can marry your favorite daimyo (general). There are stories of wooing anime versions of Renaissance artists, modern games featuring soccer players and IT start-up hotshots, and some LGBT characters, too.

Otome games meet a particular market need that mainstream media can’t. They provide quick and easy access to romance in the palm of your hand, with situations, characters and scenarios that adapt and change as you play them. They are the perfect, relatively inexpensive indulgence—for Japanese women, it can be an escape from their everyday life, and for foreign women, it’s a chance to see what dating in Japan is (ideally) like. Did we get you hooked up already?

Recommended Otome Games & How To Get Them 

As mentioned earlier, Voltage Inc. and Cybird are some of the major makers with English versions of otome games. Other popular brands are Ntt Solmare, Arithmetic and Okko. Here are some of the most popular games over the years available in English and Japanese-only:

Popular Games Available in English (as of 2025)

• Hakuoki: A romance set in Bakumatsu-era Kyoto where you join the Shinsengumi and uncover supernatural secrets. Available on: Switch, Steam (PC), iOS/Android.
• Code: Realize (Guardian of Rebirth): Steampunk London adventure with literary legends as love interests. You play as Cardia, cursed with poisonous skin. Available on: Switch, PS4, PC (Steam).
• Amnesia: Memories: The heroine wakes up without memories, each route unlocking a parallel romance and mystery. Available on: Switch, PC (Steam), iOS/Android.
• Mystic Messenger: A mobile-only otome where you chat in real-time with mysterious characters. It has thriller undertones. Available on: iOS/Android.
• Ikemen Series (Ikemen Sengoku, Ikemen Vampire, Ikemen Revolution, etc.): Cybird’s flagship mobile titles with time-travel, fantasy and reimagined historical figures. Available on: iOS/Android
• Collar x Malice: A suspenseful story about a young police officer caught in a deadly conspiracy in Shinjuku. Available on: Switch, PS Vita, Steam.
• Tears of Themis: Detective-romance hybrid from miHoYo where you solve mysteries while falling in love with four leads. Available on: iOS/Android.

Popular Japanese-Only Games (as of 2025)

• Tokimeki Memorial Girl’s Side: The classic high school dating sim where you balance school life and romance. Available on: DS, PSP, Switch remakes.
• Diabolik Lovers: Dark romance with vampire brothers in a gothic mansion. Intense and twisted routes. Available on: Switch, PC.
• Uta no Prince-sama (UtaPri): An idol romance where you play as a composer working with aspiring idols at a prestigious academy. Available on: PSP, Vita, Switch.

My Personal Recommendation

I’ve played Samurai Love Ballad, a game by Voltage Inc., a few times and really recommend it for Japanese history buffs. It’s set in the Sengoku era and features characters based on (much more handsome) versions of famous warlords of the time.

What appeals to me about this game is not just the art but also the fact that historical details about the personalities of the characters have been included—like aversions to certain foods, health issues and so on. It makes playing the game all the more fun.

Check it out for yourself on iTunes or Google Play Store and let the romance begin!

This article has been updated with the latest information for 2025.