Futago: How I Survived Those Early Years As A Twin Mom in Japan

Raising twins as a foreign mom in Japan is no easy task, especially during a pandemic! Here’s what I learned during this key life moment.

When my husband and I went in for our first ultrasound, our jaws dropped when the doctor confirmed two heartbeats. “Futago desu (they’re twins),” he said matter-of-factly. Twins? We were shocked.

Back in Trinidad, our mothers worried. “I’m coming,” said one mom. “We’ll be fine,” I assured them.

When the twins were delivered, we were ecstatic. Then the pandemic hit—lockdown. No one could come. I had been granted maternity leave, but what did I know about being a twin mom in Japan? I had to learn fast.

That week I spent in the hospital post-delivery was definitely worth it. While I recovered, the staff took care of my babies. In the maternity ward, I learned how to hand-express milk. In the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), I learned how to breastfeed, change and bathe my babies. If I hadn’t spent that extra time there, I don’t think I would have been prepared for the world of work when the twins came home.

I Needed An Extra Pair Of Hands

© Photo by iStock: SanyaSM

Raising twins alone as a foreign mom in Japan seemed insurmountable. In my case, with the pandemic and no family support, my husband had to man up. Thankfully, he did and was granted childcare leave from his company.

We became a team. It was essential, especially with those round-the-clock three-hour feeds and diaper changes. While I breastfed one twin and pumped afterward, he bottlefed the other. We burped and rocked our babies back to sleep in synchronicity.

Because Japanese society is patriarchal, whenever my husband wore one of the twins in an infant carrier, he sometimes endured some strange looks from older folk in the neighborhood. However, today, the Japanese workplace is slowly softening its attitude towards paternity leave. One Japanese company has even taken it a step further, making it mandatory!

After six months, my husband returned to work. I was now on my own, but thankfully, the babies were a little older and I was a bit more seasoned. I tried tandem breastfeeding, which occasionally worked. In general, however, I managed to feed, change and clean the babies one after the other. Occasionally, when I really needed another pair of hands at the doctor’s office or with babysitting, I asked my landlady to help.

Surviving The Eat, Poop, Sleep Months

© Photo by iStock: mapo

In those first months when the twins spit up, peed and pooped around the clock, we needed to change and clean them efficiently. We ordered diapers and baby wipes in bulk from Rakuten. For bigger messes, we relied on our Angelcare mesh baby bath. Bathtime was one-on-one and anxiety-free because the baby rested in the mesh incline while he was shampooed, soaped and rinsed.

We also invested in easy-to-change baby clothes. Kimono-shiki and jimbei worked wonders! Unlike Western-style onesies, Japanese-style baby clothes lie flat and have adjustable ties, making outfit changes a cinch! They also “grew” with the twins, so we didn’t have to keep buying baby clothes every couple of weeks. We used these clothes during the day.

At night, however, we relied on two-way zipper onesies, presents from our friends in Australia. We could do these on autopilot, despite dim lighting and bleary eyes.

In hindsight, however, we did struggle with cooking, laundry and cleaning during those early months. If I had to do it all over again, I would have definitely used the cleaning and childcare services available from the city at a subsidized rate.

Cosleeping Is Just Right For Twins

© Photo by iStock: Sorapop

One thing I learned as a mom raising twin babies in Japan was how convenient cosleeping was. Although some foreigners may think it’s unusual for a family to sleep in one room, having the twins in the same space was the perfect setup. We all slept on futons 川 (kawa; “river”) style, with the swaddled twins in the middle and us parents on either end.

Unlike in some Western homes, I didn’t need to leave the comfort of my bedroom to attend to crying babies in a separate nursery. When it was time to breastfeed, I just rolled over and fed one kid while my husband got a bottle ready for the other. Readymade formula cubes were really helpful when he was too sleepy to measure out the formula. That being said, he wished we had a hot water dispenser for those early morning feedings!

When the kids started rolling around, we didn’t worry about them falling from or climbing out of cribs because they were already on the floor! We became so comfortable on our futons that the double bassinet/playard setup we bought during pregnancy became a storage space for baby supplies.

Out & About With Twins

© Photo by Suzanne Bhagan

When my husband returned to work, raising twins as a solo act was often chaotic. What kept me grounded were long walks on the river and visits to the local park. Thankfully, there are many safe green spaces in Japan, so moms don’t need to worry too much while getting fresh air.

Just allowing the kids to dip their toes in the sandbox helped keep me and them happy. Plus, they made their earliest friends there! I also made my first mama-tomo (mom friend) at the park. She, too, was worried about the pandemic and chose to let her baby play outside rather than indoors.

To get around alone, I depended on an Evenflo double stroller. When strangers saw me pushing it, they often commented, “Sugoi bebi ka! (What an amazing stroller!)” Unlike other double strollers available at the time in Japan, my stroller’s seat positioning was super customizable (front facing, back facing, diagonal).

This feature came in handy when I needed to fit through narrow doors and tight public spaces. It was also easy to maneuver on the local train. However, I could not take the double stroller on the bus unless I folded it up. I get it. A double stroller does take up a lot of space.

Using the bus became another team effort where my husband and I swapped the double stroller for two infant carriers and foldable GB Pockit strollers. The GB Pockits also came in handy whenever we used the shinkansen (bullet train) and when we flew back home (they did not need to be checked).

If I could go back in time, however, I would have definitely invested in a twin-friendly mamachari (mom’s bicycle). Pushing that stroller became a workout as the twins got older and heavier.

Surviving Those Doctor Visits

© Photo by Suzanne Bhagan

In the first year, the mandatory home visits were very convenient. The public nurses came to our apartment armed with everything they needed to check, measure and weigh the babies. Unlike our routine hospital visits, we were very comfortable during these consultations. The nurses were very friendly and tried to answer all our questions about the twins’ development and other child-rearing issues.

For immunizations, however, we had to go to the pediatrician as a team. During the first visit, we struggled to fill out routine forms with the babies strapped to our chests. After that, the nurses provided us with an English translation and the necessary forms for the next visit so that we could fill them out at home in advance. Crisis averted.

With time, however, being a twin mom in Japan became my new normal. Now that the twins are older, I look back and think, I survived, pandemic and all! It was challenging, but I learned a great deal and continue to learn to this day.

Are you a twin mom in Japan? How did you manage those early years?

Comments

Suzanne Kamata says:

November 24, 2025 at 7:32 pm

I had a lot of help from my mother-in-law and Japanese female friends (mostly former English conversation students). Of course I had a double stroller, so we went on a couple of walks per day. I sometimes had luck getting them to nap at the same time.