Navigating Japan’s road rules is one thing; doing it with a toddler in the back seat is another. Many parents quickly notice a gap between what the law requires and what safety experts actually recommend for car seats in Japan. From age and height rules to taxis and rental cars, this is what you need to know about car seat safety in Japan.

Car Seats In Japan 101

Under Japan’s Road Traffic Act, any child under the age of six must be secured in a child restraint system.

It’s important to note that responsibility lies entirely with the driver. This applies even if you’re just borrowing a friend’s car for a quick grocery run or catching a ride with a neighbor. If the police catch you transporting a child under six without a seat, there’s no monetary fine, but you will receive one demerit point on your license.

While a single point might feel like a “slap on the wrist,” the safety risks are anything but minor. 

When Is a Car Seat Not Legally Required?

Japan’s “Road Traffic Act Enforcement Order” does allow for a few specific exemptions:

• Space Issues: If the vehicle’s structure prevents installing a car seat, or if the car is already at full capacity and there isn’t space to secure multiple children.
• Health & Care: If a child has a medical condition or injury that prevents proper use, or if urgent daily care (such as changing a diaper) must be provided while the vehicle is moving. 
• Public Transport: Car seats are not required by law when riding in taxis or buses.
• Emergencies: During urgent transport to a hospital or medical facility.

Experts Recommend Using Car Seats For Longer

While the law lets you stop using a car seat the day your child turns six, the Japan Automobile Federation (JAF) recommends using the measuring tape rather than age.

In 2025, JAF updated its guidelines, raising the recommended height for child seat use from 140 cm to 150 cm. Since the average child doesn’t hit the 150 cm mark until around age 12, this means your “big kid” should likely stay in a booster seat much longer than the law requires.

The reason comes down to fit. Adult seat belts are designed for adult bodies. If the belt crosses a child’s neck or abdomen instead of the collarbone and hips, the risk of serious internal injury increases in a crash. In other words, meeting the legal minimum and meeting the safest standard are not always the same thing.

Choosing The Right Car Seat In Japan

Manufacturers categorize seats based on a mix of age, height and weight. Here’s a quick cheat sheet for your next shopping trip:

Experts recommend keeping your child rear-facing for as long as your seat’s height and weight limits allow, and using a booster until the seat belt fits your child correctly.

Where To Buy Or Rent A Car Seat In Japan

Ready to shop? Thankfully, Japan has plenty of options for every budget, as well as a few rental options if you are just visiting.

In-Store Retailers

If you want to “test drive” a seat before buying, head to:

• Akachan Honpo: The ultimate destination for new parents. They have “Safety Advisors” who can help you understand the difference between seat belt–installed and ISOFIX models.
• Babies“R”Us / Toys“R”Us Japan: Great for seeing international brands like Joie, Cybex and Graco in person.
• Nishimatsuya: Their in-house brand, SmartAngel, offers some of the most budget-friendly seats in Japan without compromising on safety standards.

Online Options

For doorstep delivery, Amazon Japan and Rakuten are the best choices. Search for “チャイルドシート” (Child Seat) or “ジュニアシート” (Junior Seat). Make sure to check the seat for the E-mark (a tiny circle with an “E” inside). That symbol means the seat meets official safety standards in Japan.

Rentals Options

If you’re renting a car, you can usually add a child seat when you book. Most companies charge a one-time fee per rental rather than a daily rate.

Rental Services:

If a rental car add-on isn’t an option, standalone baby gear rental companies offer a wider selection of seats, from basic boosters to premium infant models. These are some of the most widely used services in Japan:

DUSKIN “Kasite Net” – A reliable option with a large catalog of models.

Price: Approximately ¥3,500 – ¥6,600 per month for popular Combi or Leaman seats.

BabyRenta -Offers a wider selection, including premium brands such as Cybex and Joie.

Price: Short-term rentals (around three days) start at roughly ¥6,000. Monthly rentals are a better value at around ¥8,000.

NiceBaby – Well-suited for medium-term rentals.

Price: Two-week rentals start at about ¥2,000 for basic boosters and range up to ¥7,000 for higher-end infant seats.

Keeping your child safe on Japan’s roads doesn’t need to feel overwhelming. The law gives you a starting point but the safest choice is always the seat that fits your child properly.

Have you found Japan’s car seat rules confusing, or surprisingly flexible? Share your experience in the comments!

With the number of babies dropping each year, the Japanese government is rolling out one of its most ambitious rounds of family support in years. Starting in 2026, Japan is introducing new family support policies that cover childbirth and childcare, education and post-divorce support. Here’s what to expect with the new key family policy changes in Japan.

Free Childbirth for Standard Deliveries

One of the key family policy changes in Japan is the plan to eliminate out-of-pocket costs for standard childbirth. Currently, normal deliveries are not covered by national health insurance. Instead, parents receive a lump-sum childbirth and childcare allowance of ¥500,000, which often does not cover the entire cost of delivery. The national average has climbed from around ¥417,000 in 2012 to more than ¥518,000 in 2024 and in Tokyo, costs are as high as ¥625,000.

From fiscal year 2026, the government aims to make standard childbirth effectively free, either by covering normal deliveries under public health insurance with no co-payment or by increasing the allowance to match typical costs. Caesarean sections and other specialized procedures, which are already partially insured, will continue to require the usual 30 percent co-payment.

While details such as epidurals and private rooms are still under review, the goal is straightforward: to remove one of the largest upfront expenses of becoming a parent in Japan.

New Child & Child-rearing Support Contribution

From April 2026, families will notice a small new addition to their health insurance premiums: the Child and Child-rearing Support Contribution (子ども 子育て支援金制度). The funds will go toward expanding child allowances, pregnancy and childbirth grants and broader childcare programs.

The fee will be collected from all health insurance subscribers, including people without children. Government estimates put the average cost at around ¥250 to ¥450 per person per month (roughly ¥3,000 to ¥5,400 per year), though the exact amount will vary based on income and insurance type. If you work for a company, the cost will be shared with your employer, much like your existing social insurance payments.

Childcare for All Children

Starting in April 2026, Japan will roll out the “Childcare for All Children” program (こども誰でも通園制度) nationwide, expanding access to childcare for more families.

Until now, getting a spot at a licensed daycare usually meant parents had to prove a “need for childcare,” often by working full-time. This left many stay-at-home parents, freelancers, part-timers and job-seeking families struggling to access childcare, especially for children under two. Under the new system, that requirement will be removed. Infants and toddlers aged six months to two years will be able to attend daycare for up to 10 hours per month, regardless of their parents’ employment status.

Families will have more flexible childcare choices, from short-term and hourly care to local, community-based support. Rates are expected to be around ¥275 to ¥300 per hour, though the exact cost and availability will depend on your area. All certified providers will also offer some form of flexible access under the new system.

Joint Parental Custody After Divorce

From April 2026, Japan will introduce joint parental custody, marking a major shift in the country’s divorce and custody laws.

Until now, Japan only recognized sole custody, meaning one parent kept full legal authority (shinken), while the other had limited say in major decisions. Under the revised Civil Code, parents will be able to choose either joint or sole custody. With joint custody, both parents must agree on big decisions like schooling, moving house or significant medical care, while day-to-day matters stay with the parent the child lives with. If there are concerns about domestic violence or abuse, the court will award sole custody instead.

At the same time, Japan will roll out a new child support system to address unpaid support.

From April 2026:

• A minimum payment of ¥20,000 per child per month can be claimed
• This applies even without a formal agreement at the time of divorce
• Courts can seize wages or assets to recover unpaid support, up to ¥80,000 per child per month

One-time ¥20,000 Support Payment

Families will also get a small financial boost: a one-time ¥20,000 Child-rearing Support Allowance per child. Unlike regular benefits, this is meant as short-term help rather than ongoing support.

If you’re already receiving the standard child allowance, you’re automatically eligible, with no income limits to worry about. The payment covers kids aged 0 to 18 and will be sent to the same bank account you use for your current child allowance. Most families can expect it to arrive between February and March 2026.

Private High School Tuition Assistance

Education costs are also set to ease for many families, especially those considering private high schools. From April 2026, the government will scrap the income cap on private high school tuition subsidies. In the past, support depended on household earnings, which meant many middle-income families missed out or received very little. Under the new rules, all eligible households can get up to ¥457,000 per year per student.

Unfortunately, the subsidy only applies to tuition. Things like entrance fees, uniforms, tablets or laptops and school trips are still paid out of pocket.

Pension Premium Exemption for Self-employed Parents 

For self-employed parents, taking time off after having a baby can be financially tough. Unlike salaried workers, freelancers and small business owners still have to pay their full National Pension premiums. From October 2026, that changes. Type 1 insured parents will be exempt from paying National Pension premiums until their child turns one. With monthly premiums currently around ¥16,000 to ¥17,000, that could mean savings of ¥190,000 to ¥200,000 over the first year.

What do you think of the key family policy changes in Japan? Let us know in the comments!

Japan is an incredible place to visit in winter, but if you are traveling with kids, flu season is something worth preparing for. Influenza (インフルエンザ) spreads fast in Japan and a child getting sick can shift everything in a matter of hours. The good news is that Japan’s healthcare system is extremely reliable, which makes dealing with situations like this much less overwhelming.

Recognizing Flu Symptoms

In Japan, a temperature over 37.5°C counts as a fever. If it climbs to 38°C or higher, especially if your child seems unusually tired, is struggling to breathe, or is not eating or drinking, it is best to have them checked. 

Influenza symptoms: 

• Fever above 38°C 
• Chills, headaches, muscle aches 
• Severe fatigue
• Cough, sore throat, congestion 
• Vomiting or diarrhea, especially in younger kids

Severe influenza symptoms:

If your child is experiencing any of the following symptoms, seek urgent medical care immediately. 

• Bluish lips or skin
• Labored or rapid breathing
• Confusion, hallucinations, seizures
• Persistent vomiting or dehydration
• Non-blanching rash
• Fever lasting longer than 48 hours in young children

No one knows your child better than you do. If their behavior seems unusual or your instincts are telling you something is not right, trust that feeling and seek medical advice.

Flu Care in Japan

Many children recover from influenza without hospital care, but managing symptoms while traveling can feel different from home. The good news is that Japan has plenty of options to help make your child more comfortable.

Some helpful items for flu care include:

• Netsu-zamashi (熱さましシート) – cooling gel sheets for fevers
• OS-1 – Oral rehydration electrolyte solution (Electrolyte drinks like Pocari Sweat and Aquarius also work well)
• Children’s Bufferin Range (小児用バファリン) – Liquids and Tablets for fevers, coughs and cold symptoms
• Paburon Kids (パブロンキッズ) – an acetaminophen-based medication for children aged 3 months to 6 years

You can ask the pharmacy staff for help by sharing your child’s age, weight and symptoms. They can recommend suitable products, but keep in mind that Japan typically uses lower doses of acetaminophen than many Western countries.

If you need supplies late at night, chains such as Welcia, Tsuruha Drug and Sugi Drug often operate extended hours. Above all, encourage plenty of rest and fluids and consider slowing your itinerary to allow proper time for recovery.

How to Call an Ambulance in Japan

If the situation feels urgent, do not take a taxi or go directly to a hospital without calling ahead. Japan’s emergency system works differently.

The fastest option:

If you are staying at a hotel, your first stop should be the front desk or concierge. They understand the emergency system, can explain your location accurately in Japanese and remove the stress of communication so you can focus on your child. When you are away from your accommodation, do not hesitate to ask for help from a police officer, station staff member or nearby employee.

If you must call yourself:

Do not delay. Dial 119 and say:

“Kyuu-kyuu-sha onegaishimasu. Kodomo ga byouki desu.” (I need an ambulance. My child is sick.)

Give your address slowly and clearly, add nearby landmarks and speak simply. Use simple English or Japanese and speak at a steady pace. It is always better to call for help right away than to lose time searching online or relying on translation apps.

Ambulance services in Japan are free for everyone and paramedics will choose the most appropriate hospital based on your child’s condition and location.

Medical Emergency Services in Japan

Fortunately, most major cities in Japan are well equipped with 24-hour emergency medical services, particularly during flu season. If possible, ask hotel staff for assistance first. If you are unsure whether your child needs emergency care, you can also dial #7119 for nurse advice (Japanese only).

Important: Always Call Ahead

In Japan, you generally cannot choose a clinic or hospital and simply show up. Many facilities do not accept walk-ins and will turn patients away if no prior arrangement has been made. While this can feel frustrating when you are worried about your child, following the correct procedure is often the fastest way to receive care.

Medical Support Lines for Foreign Visitors

Tokyo Metropolitan Health & Medical Information Centre

They offer free medical consultations and can recommend hospitals that provide support in foreign languages.

• Languages: English, Chinese, Korean, Thai and Spanish (call charges apply)
• Hours: 9 a.m. to 8 p.m.
• Phone: 03-5285-8181

Japan National Tourism Organization (JNTO) – Japan Visitor Hotline

This service supports visitors with emergencies such as illness or natural disasters and provides information on medical facilities that offer care in foreign languages.

• Languages: English, Chinese and Korean
• Hours: 24/7, 365 days
• Phone: 050-3816-2787

AMDA International Medical Information Center

AMDA provides multilingual medical information and support for foreign residents and visitors in Japan. They can help you find appropriate hospitals and clinics, explain how the Japanese medical system works, and offer telephone interpretation support during medical visits when needed.

• Languages: English, Chinese, Korean, Spanish, Portuguese, Thai, Tagalog, Vietnamese and others (varies by day and availability)
• Hours: Monday to Friday, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.
• Phone: 03-6233-9266

Visiting a Hospital in Japan

Foreign families are very welcome at Japanese hospitals, although the experience may differ from what you are accustomed to at home.

Bring the following with you:

• Passports
• Travel insurance documents
• Any prescription medications your child is currently taking
• Cash (payment is often required before leaving and not all facilities accept cards)

At the reception, you will be required to complete several forms. English options are not always available, so the Google Translate camera function can be extremely helpful.

Your child will be triaged quickly before being seen by a physician. In suspected flu cases, doctors often perform a rapid influenza test using a swab.

Depending on your child’s condition, they may also receive:

• Temperature checks and rapid testing for viral infections
• Oral Rehydration Solutions or Intravenous Fluids
• X-rays or blood tests if complications are suspected
• Prescriptions for medication

If you are still feeling unsure, Savvy Tokyo offers several guides on what to know before seeing a doctor in Japan and what to expect when your child needs medical care.

Finding a part-time job in Japan as a parent—or really in any country—can be a challenging and time-consuming undertaking. Throw in different cultural norms and a foreign language, and it can feel nearly impossible.

In America, I might show up and ask one of the staff members if they were hiring, but I wasn’t sure if it would come across as too aggressive in Japan. Thankfully, after hours of scouring the internet, painstakingly filling out resumes by hand and on the computer and making plenty of mistakes, I can share my knowledge to help others be better prepared than I was.

Why Choose A Part-Time Job?

© Photo by iStock: maroke

Many housewives and househusbands turn to アルバイト (arubaito; “part-time jobs“) for the flexible schedule and the well-known practice of maintaining spousal social insurance dependency. Not only that, but working a part-time job helps you connect more with your community and offers you a chance to improve your Japanese language skills. You might find that part-time work is more rewarding than you expected, gaining more knowledge and confidence to live in Japan.

Daycare & School Hours

It’s no surprise that being a parent comes with the unfortunate task of juggling different schedules, events, activities and finances. The moment I became a mom, I was overwhelmed with keeping up with my son’s ever-changing schedule and needs. Now that my son is starting daycare, I find myself trying to squeeze in as much work as possible during the day while also keeping our shared family calendar up to date to know who is picking up and dropping off our son.

Daycare hours in Japan vary by area and individual schools. Standard hours are usually between 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. Depending on the certification given to you by your local municipality, you might only be permitted to use shortened hours, which are from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Anything outside of the standard or shortened hours is considered extended hours, which come with an extra fee.

On paper, the schedule sounds manageable. Realistically, however, depending on your work, your commute and the location of your daycare, you might find yourself sprinting from one place to the next. If daycare ends at 6 p.m. and the typical Japanese workday also ends at 6 p.m., it becomes clear how impossible it can feel.

Applying to daycares near your home doesn’t always guarantee you will get in.

All the daycares near us were filled, from public to private to unlicensed. We were then forced to apply to ones outside of our city and prefecture. When we finally got accepted, it was a 50-minute commute from door to door. A commute like that is manageable for an adult, but for a squirmy toddler, it can be a nightmare.

What can be even more taxing are the shorter elementary school hours, with children returning home around 3 p.m. School also starts later in the morning, meaning parents might leave the house before their children do. Thankfully, most children in Japan attend elementary schools located in their neighborhoods and are easily accessible on foot. Designated volunteers in the community are stationed at some crosswalks to ensure children reach school safely, but this can make it difficult for parents to maintain a work-life balance.

Taxes & Dependency Status

Japan offers maternity leave and childcare leave to those who have ‌full-time jobs in Japan. As a foreigner who worked on English teaching contract jobs, I wasn’t one of those lucky people to get such benefits. Thankfully, while freelancing during my pregnancy and raising our son while out of work, my husband was able to claim me as a dependent. His company provided both of us with social insurance and handled our taxes every year.

In fact, many mothers in Japan are in similar situations. They often feel pressure from their managers or societal demands to be the perfect mom, which can lead them to leave their full-time jobs. On top of it all, the price of daycare can be even higher if both parents are working. To make matters worse, the daycare application process requires an overwhelming amount of paperwork that must be resubmitted, which can put a strain on an already busy work schedule.

However, working a part-time job that earns less than ¥1.3 million a year, which is approximately 20 hours of work a week at the typical Tokyo minimum wage, allows a spouse to remain a dependent. This reduces the amount a household is taxed and allows the spouse to remain on the other’s social insurance plan.

After December 1, 2025, these numbers will change slightly, but realistically, the amount‌ isn’t enough. With ever-increasing prices of goods and stagnant salaries, families are struggling and need more assistance and leniency from the government.

Applying For Part-Time Jobs

© Photo by iStock: Prostock-Studio

The easiest and most straightforward way to start applying is to look online. If you don’t have any Japanese language skills or lack the confidence to interview in Japanese, there are plenty of part-time jobs that don’t require it.

GaijinPot Jobs can not only help you find places that welcome foreign staff. You can also refine your search using advanced options, such as filtering by industry and remote work availability. They also offer jobs that provide full-time or contract work, should you decide to change your work style.

If you have basic Japanese conversation skills or don’t mind navigating Japanese websites for part-time work, I recommend using these sites to get you started:

• Baitoru (バイトル)
• Townwork (タウンワーク)
• Shufu Job (しゅふJOB)

Here are some phrases you can use while searching for a job in Japanese:

After submitting your application, some jobs will contact you by phone or email to invite you in for an interview. From personal experience, a rare few will ask you to bring in a resume. Most of them had an original form they wanted me to fill out at their shop on the day of the interview.

Japanese Resumes

© Photo by iStock: Takatoshi

For me, this was the hardest part. Resumes in Japan differ significantly from those in my home country, with far more rules and requirements. I found myself rushing to my local train station to sit in a photo booth to take a proper resume picture, which is meant to be 40mm x 30mm.

When listing your work history and education, keep in mind that Japan might have a different order than you’re used to. List your educational background first, including details about your junior high school and high school experiences. Your work history should be listed in order from your first job to the last job or the one you’re currently working.

If you are confident in your writing abilities, you can purchase resumes at the convenience store. There are two different kinds. The blue one, 履歴書用紙 (rirekisho yoshi), is typically used for changing companies or by recent graduates entering a company. The red one, パート・アルバイト用履歴書用紙(paato/arubaito you rirekisho yoshi), is more for part-time or casual work.

As a housewife or parent, you don’t need to handwrite your resume. Finding a free online template or using a free service like Canva is a great way to fill it out on your computer and save yourself the sanity of squeezing kanji into small boxes. Sites like GaijinPot Jobs allow you to upload your resume in English and Japanese, lessening the hassle of having to print one out every time you go in for an interview.

Interviewing For Part-Time Jobs

© Photo by iStock: mapo

After applying for jobs online or by phone, you should have a date set up for an interview. Since this is a part-time job, it isn’t quite as serious as applying for a corporate job. However, you should go to your interview dressed well and looking professional. Arrive 10 minutes early to complete any necessary paperwork and start the interview on a positive note.

Many of the websites and videos I watched in preparation for my interview mentioned the importance of giving a self-introduction. However, none of my interviewers asked me to introduce myself. They seemed much more interested in my reasons for choosing the job, the hours I was willing to work, whether I could work during holidays and if I wanted to remain dependent on my husband’s social insurance.

When you arrive at the store, find an employee who isn’t busy or wait patiently until you can talk to an employee. Let them know you’re there for your interview (try the Japanese below). They will likely escort you to the manager or lead you to a designated area to conduct the interview.

Here are some example questions or information you might be asked to answer during your interview, and some possible examples of how to respond.

Please give a self-introduction.

Please tell us why you chose our store.

Why did you want to start working again?

What days and times can you work?

Do you want to work within the dependent’s allowance?

When can you start working?

How long will you be working for us?

Can you work overtime?

How long is your commute and how will you get to the store?

What will you do if you’re working and your child gets sick?

Closing Thoughts

© Photo by iStock: pixelfit

In the end, whether you choose part-time work or full-time work, job hunting can be stressful. Do what’s best for you and your family’s situation and, of course, find a store that will be enjoyable to work at. Be honest and don’t be afraid to tell them your limits. I found that many store managers understood my situation as a mom, listened to my limits and called me in for the job.

Are you thinking about finding a part-time job or already have one? Let me know in the comments how it went or what your favorite thing about working part-time in Japan is!

When my husband and I went in for our first ultrasound, our jaws dropped when the doctor confirmed two heartbeats. “Futago desu (they’re twins),” he said matter-of-factly. Twins? We were shocked.

Back in Trinidad, our mothers worried. “I’m coming,” said one mom. “We’ll be fine,” I assured them.

When the twins were delivered, we were ecstatic. Then the pandemic hit—lockdown. No one could come. I had been granted maternity leave, but what did I know about being a twin mom in Japan? I had to learn fast.

That week I spent in the hospital post-delivery was definitely worth it. While I recovered, the staff took care of my babies. In the maternity ward, I learned how to hand-express milk. In the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), I learned how to breastfeed, change and bathe my babies. If I hadn’t spent that extra time there, I don’t think I would have been prepared for the world of work when the twins came home.

I Needed An Extra Pair Of Hands

© Photo by iStock: SanyaSM

Raising twins alone as a foreign mom in Japan seemed insurmountable. In my case, with the pandemic and no family support, my husband had to man up. Thankfully, he did and was granted childcare leave from his company.

We became a team. It was essential, especially with those round-the-clock three-hour feeds and diaper changes. While I breastfed one twin and pumped afterward, he bottlefed the other. We burped and rocked our babies back to sleep in synchronicity.

Because Japanese society is patriarchal, whenever my husband wore one of the twins in an infant carrier, he sometimes endured some strange looks from older folk in the neighborhood. However, today, the Japanese workplace is slowly softening its attitude towards paternity leave. One Japanese company has even taken it a step further, making it mandatory!

After six months, my husband returned to work. I was now on my own, but thankfully, the babies were a little older and I was a bit more seasoned. I tried tandem breastfeeding, which occasionally worked. In general, however, I managed to feed, change and clean the babies one after the other. Occasionally, when I really needed another pair of hands at the doctor’s office or with babysitting, I asked my landlady to help.

Surviving The Eat, Poop, Sleep Months

© Photo by iStock: mapo

In those first months when the twins spit up, peed and pooped around the clock, we needed to change and clean them efficiently. We ordered diapers and baby wipes in bulk from Rakuten. For bigger messes, we relied on our Angelcare mesh baby bath. Bathtime was one-on-one and anxiety-free because the baby rested in the mesh incline while he was shampooed, soaped and rinsed.

We also invested in easy-to-change baby clothes. Kimono-shiki and jimbei worked wonders! Unlike Western-style onesies, Japanese-style baby clothes lie flat and have adjustable ties, making outfit changes a cinch! They also “grew” with the twins, so we didn’t have to keep buying baby clothes every couple of weeks. We used these clothes during the day.

At night, however, we relied on two-way zipper onesies, presents from our friends in Australia. We could do these on autopilot, despite dim lighting and bleary eyes.

In hindsight, however, we did struggle with cooking, laundry and cleaning during those early months. If I had to do it all over again, I would have definitely used the cleaning and childcare services available from the city at a subsidized rate.

Cosleeping Is Just Right For Twins

© Photo by iStock: Sorapop

One thing I learned as a mom raising twin babies in Japan was how convenient cosleeping was. Although some foreigners may think it’s unusual for a family to sleep in one room, having the twins in the same space was the perfect setup. We all slept on futons 川 (kawa; “river”) style, with the swaddled twins in the middle and us parents on either end.

Unlike in some Western homes, I didn’t need to leave the comfort of my bedroom to attend to crying babies in a separate nursery. When it was time to breastfeed, I just rolled over and fed one kid while my husband got a bottle ready for the other. Readymade formula cubes were really helpful when he was too sleepy to measure out the formula. That being said, he wished we had a hot water dispenser for those early morning feedings!

When the kids started rolling around, we didn’t worry about them falling from or climbing out of cribs because they were already on the floor! We became so comfortable on our futons that the double bassinet/playard setup we bought during pregnancy became a storage space for baby supplies.

Out & About With Twins

© Photo by Suzanne Bhagan

When my husband returned to work, raising twins as a solo act was often chaotic. What kept me grounded were long walks on the river and visits to the local park. Thankfully, there are many safe green spaces in Japan, so moms don’t need to worry too much while getting fresh air.

Just allowing the kids to dip their toes in the sandbox helped keep me and them happy. Plus, they made their earliest friends there! I also made my first mama-tomo (mom friend) at the park. She, too, was worried about the pandemic and chose to let her baby play outside rather than indoors.

To get around alone, I depended on an Evenflo double stroller. When strangers saw me pushing it, they often commented, “Sugoi bebi ka! (What an amazing stroller!)” Unlike other double strollers available at the time in Japan, my stroller’s seat positioning was super customizable (front facing, back facing, diagonal).

This feature came in handy when I needed to fit through narrow doors and tight public spaces. It was also easy to maneuver on the local train. However, I could not take the double stroller on the bus unless I folded it up. I get it. A double stroller does take up a lot of space.

Using the bus became another team effort where my husband and I swapped the double stroller for two infant carriers and foldable GB Pockit strollers. The GB Pockits also came in handy whenever we used the shinkansen (bullet train) and when we flew back home (they did not need to be checked).

If I could go back in time, however, I would have definitely invested in a twin-friendly mamachari (mom’s bicycle). Pushing that stroller became a workout as the twins got older and heavier.

Surviving Those Doctor Visits

© Photo by Suzanne Bhagan

In the first year, the mandatory home visits were very convenient. The public nurses came to our apartment armed with everything they needed to check, measure and weigh the babies. Unlike our routine hospital visits, we were very comfortable during these consultations. The nurses were very friendly and tried to answer all our questions about the twins’ development and other child-rearing issues.

For immunizations, however, we had to go to the pediatrician as a team. During the first visit, we struggled to fill out routine forms with the babies strapped to our chests. After that, the nurses provided us with an English translation and the necessary forms for the next visit so that we could fill them out at home in advance. Crisis averted.

With time, however, being a twin mom in Japan became my new normal. Now that the twins are older, I look back and think, I survived, pandemic and all! It was challenging, but I learned a great deal and continue to learn to this day.

Are you a twin mom in Japan? How did you manage those early years?

Bullying in Japanese schools, or ijime, is an entrenched problem. To the degree that modern bullying attacks not just the odd ones out, the pressure on foreign or part-foreign children in Japan may have decreased compared to previous generations, but the odds are not in their favor, nor in anyone else’s. Every child is a potential victim of modern bullying.

A recent scandal involving a senior high school baseball team that withdrew from Japan’s national tournament after alleged abuse of a junior member has brought renewed attention to this issue. Recent increased efforts by educational institutions to resolve and eradicate the harassment offer some hope.

What’s Considered Bullying in Japan?

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Japan’s Ministry of Education (MEXT) has monitored ijime cases since 1985, gradually broadening definitions to reflect modern realities—including bullying outside school grounds and online harassment.

MEXT defines bullying as:

An act by a student or students toward another student that causes physical or psychological suffering, as judged from the standpoint of the child who feels bullied.

Whether suffering has been caused or not is judged based on the standpoint of the child who has been bullied. It’s a broad definition aimed at encompassing the diverse nature of today’s cruel tactics.

A Persistent Issue

Bullying in Japanese schools has been deeply ingrained for generations. A 2013 study by the Tokyo Metropolitan School Personnel Training Center found that 66.2% of children surveyed had been bullied, and 46.9% had both been bullied and bullied.

Though awareness and policies have improved since then, the landscape has evolved rather than disappeared, and reported bullying cases continue to climb.

Latest National Figures (FY2024, Reported in 2025)

Although these numbers reflect reported cases, experts note that substantial underreporting may still exist.

Types Of Bullying in Japan

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In recent years, bullying has shifted to target children over minor misunderstandings, group conflicts or online rumors. While diversity visibility has increased, children of mixed cultural backgrounds or newly arrived foreign families can still face exclusion or misunderstanding.

Most forms of modern bullying leave no visible signs, and some camouflage it in ambiguity. It includes actions that might otherwise be regarded as just fooling around, such as hiding a person’s bags or shoes or scribbling on their books.

In many cases, the rest of a group or class bullies a single child and may even band together to deny those actions if questioned by a parent or teacher. For bullies, being part of a group of people doing the same thing diminishes their sense of responsibility for their actions.

The internet has also provided new and anonymous forms of ijime, further advancing the bullies’ sense of it being a game. Victims may find slanderous comments about them on social media platforms, or have photos or their address posted online, or repeatedly receive insulting messages.

MEXT data shows:

• Teasing, insults, repeated negative comments: Still the most common
• Group exclusion and silent treatment: A uniquely persistent form in Japan
• “Play-acting” violence: Poking, hitting, kicking disguised as “jokes”
• Online harassment and social media exclusion: Rapidly increasing, often happening in private chat groups or group LINE messages among classmates
• Forced acts, humiliation: This includes coerced “apologies” or dares

Bullying Peaks Around Middle School

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An examination of when bullying occurs reveals one key reason as to why it occurs. MEXT research shows that cases rapidly increase from grade five of elementary school through to junior high school, with the majority of reported incidents emerging in the first grade of junior high school.

That period—around 13 years of age—coincides with adolescence and the physical and emotional growth of children, particularly the formulation of self-identity. Kids’ growth on the physical and emotional levels at this time can cause them stress and dissatisfaction, and bullying acts as an outlet for those feelings.

For bullies, experts note that many have issues at home or at school that are causing them stress, worry or a sense of inferiority, and they release those frustrations via their attempts to control others or attack them.

The Onlooker Issue

The dynamics of ijime include not only the bully—or bullies—and the victim, but also those nearby: onlookers who fall into two categories, the audience and the bystanders. The audience enjoys the show that the bullies put on. Bullies interpret that enjoyment as support for their actions, and that intensifies their actions.

Bystanders pretend they haven’t seen what is going on, most often because they fear that voicing an objection to it will make them a target. The bullies interpret this as implicit support. Many experts believe that the actions of onlookers can alter the direction of ijime.

If students could see that, in the long run, verbally objecting to the bullies helps their own situation because it weakens the bully and his actions, a key mechanism of ijime would wind down—but that’s a hard ask for a young child.

The social view of ijime has been a dark one: inhumane actions shrouded in silence and impossible to resolve. If there is no prospect of a solution, there is little incentive to report it to a teacher or parent.

Government Action & Policy Progress

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In 2013, Japan passed the Ijime Prevention Methods Promotion Law, which requires schools to:

• Investigate bullying regularly (student surveys)
• Report suspected cases immediately
• Develop structured response systems
• Train educators and monitor cases closely

The law was passed after public outcry over the handling by a junior high school in Otsu City, Shiga Prefecture, and the board of education there, of the 2011 suicide of a second-grade student who was being bullied intensely.

The school initially denied that such actions had occurred. However, questionnaires among their students returned numerous accounts of bullying of the boy, verifying that the school tried to keep the information secret. When such accounts eventually emerged in news reports, the board of education downplayed the answers as being only hearsay.

A number of students also stated in the questionnaires that the boy’s homeroom teacher was aware of the bullying, had even witnessed it and laughed about it. Numerous other accounts said the boy had been repeatedly punched and kicked, told to die and forced to “practice” committing suicide almost daily.

It was widely considered that both the school and the local board of education had attempted to cover up the bullying, its connection to the child’s death—which occurred at home—and their responsibility for the events.

Does The Ijime Prevention Law Actually Work?

The law aims to prevent the recurrence of the structural problems that allowed the Otsu City boy’s case to go unchecked. It places responsibility for bullying on national and local authorities, as well as schools.

Although other cases of bullying have come to light even after its introduction, the ijime prevention law is at least a step in the right direction. It helps bring the problem out of the shadows so that we can see what is going on.

Under MEXT’s instruction, teachers are taking the stance—and teaching students—that ijime is unconscionable. The history of it so far has taught us that even though students may downplay it as just a little slap or joke, just like all the other kids are doing, every act of bullying causes pain.

To uphold our own sense of morality against an opposing wave—during adolescence of all times—may be one of life’s most challenging tasks, but in the end, it is the only way forward.

Supporting Your Child

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Our children need our support. Make it a habit to talk with your child about their day and things that have happened at school, so that they feel comfortable coming to you if they have a problem. To prevent raising a bully, help your child experience compassion and caring for others from an early age.

If you suspect your child is being bullied but isn’t saying so, ask them how they spend their school recess periods and with whom, and inquire about how their good friends are doing lately.

Signs Of Bullying

• Silence
• Reluctance to attend school
• End of contact with good friends
• Talks less about school and friends
• Stealing money from home
• Unexplained bruises
• Damaged school supplies
• Excessive concern about their phone

If your child encounters bullying, listen carefully to what they say and how they want to approach the problem. Discuss the issue with their homeroom teacher and ensure that the principal is also informed. You will need to work closely with the school to overcome the problem.

Here are some options if you want to seek advice from other sources, too:

• The Tokyo Metropolitan Education Consultation Center: Holds English phone consultations on the Friday of each month, from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. (Tel: 03-3360-4175). This free service can also arrange an in-person consultation. It is closed on public holidays.
• TELL Lifeline: Offers assistance in English to both children and parents from 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. (Tel: 0800-300-8355).
• 24-Hour Children’s SOS Hotline: Nationwide toll-free line for students facing bullying or school-related stress. Available 24 hours. (Tel: 0120-0-78310) (Japanese)
• Childline Japan: Anonymous support for children under 18, every day from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. (Tel: 0120-99-7777) (Japanese; website available in English)
• Children’s Rights Hotline (Ministry of Justice): For human-rights issues, including bullying. Weekdays 8:30 a.m. to 5:15 p.m. (Tel: 0120-007-110) (Japanese)
• SNS Educational Counseling (Tokyo Metropolitan Board of Education): Consultation via LINE for school-related issues. (Japanese)

Bullying may never disappear entirely, but with increasing awareness, dedicated resources and open dialogue among educators, parents and students, continued progress is possible.

This article has been republished with the latest information.

November in Japan brings a unique holiday that can only be celebrated a few times in a child’s life. Shichi-Go-San (七五三), literally meaning “seven-five-three,” is an ancient holiday dedicated to celebrating children who have reached the ages of three, five and seven.

There’s nothing more exciting than these kinds of child-related celebrations for families in Japan. For me, sharing these moments with my son makes them far more memorable. When the celebration puts him at the very center, I find myself wanting to go all out with decorations, delicious food and countless photos.

The History Behind The Shichi-Go-San Ages

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While preparing for my son’s Shichi-Go-San event, I spent a considerable amount of time researching the meaning and history behind it. Unsurprisingly, and like many historical events, this holiday was once only celebrated by the emperor and upper-class nobles, including samurai. Over time, as the holiday evolved and its name and other cultural aspects changed, it became the Shichi-Go-San we know today.

In the past, there was no single holiday. There were three separate events, each one marking a particular milestone, and celebrated by both genders. They were called Kamioki, Hakamagi and Obitoki.

Nearly a thousand years ago, parents shaved their children’s heads, believing it was more sanitary and would prevent the children from getting sick. After turning three years old, they would hold Kamioki, a hair growth ritual. From that day onwards, the child would grow out their hair and begin their fresh start into childhood.

Children who had reached the age of five would participate in the Hakamagi ceremony. They would don their first hakama as the second milestone in childhood. This ceremony was initially open to both genders, but during the Edo period, it became a ceremony for boys only.

Similarly, Obitoki was originally a ceremony held for both boys and girls. When children reached the age of seven, they would begin using an obi to fasten their kimono in place, symbolizing their last few steps towards adulthood. This tradition also underwent a change a few hundred years ago, evolving into a ceremony for girls.

In the past, children were susceptible to various diseases, and it’s no wonder these milestones were considered significant reasons to celebrate. Even in the modern era, where children have a higher chance of survival, I’m always delighted to find an excuse to dress up and spend memorable moments with my family.

1,000-Year Candy & Other Treats

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Besides getting to celebrate with my son, eating delicious food is by far one of the best things about holidays. With Shichi-Go-San comes a lot of fun sweets, but the most famous is by far chitose-ame (one-thousand-year-old candy) made from rice and barley.

Don’t worry, the candy itself isn’t actually a thousand years old. Instead, the long length of the candy is meant to symbolize a long and healthy life for the child. Much like the custom of consuming soba noodles on New Year’s, this belief also centers on the wish for a long and healthy life.

The candy often comes in a bag with other symbols of a long life, such as cranes and turtles. It has become so popular that your local supermarket might sell it. I actually passed by this candy many times without ever realizing its importance, as it doesn’t look all too spectacular.

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Besides chitose-ame, you can find desserts from cake shops to traditional wagashi being sold with various symbols on them. There are entire catalogs devoted to Shichi-Go-San gifts. These gifts can be given to grandparents or close family and friends as a way to express gratitude for their support. You might also be on the receiving end of gifts, congratulating you for raising a healthy child.

Some families make reservations at expensive restaurants, while others prefer a more tight-knit gathering at home. If you’re bringing your three-year-old, you might feel some stress eating out. My husband’s family often hosts gatherings in their home, preferring to cook up healthy dishes and share their favorite recipes with close friends. I recommend choosing what feels most comfortable for your family.

Prayers & Blessings

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Usually celebrated on or around November 15, families often visit shrines to express gratitude and receive blessings for the coming year. However, as shrines and daily life can get busy, some families visit the shrine in mid-October or towards the end of November.

Every shrine has its own unique approach to Shichi-Go-San, so please check with your local shrine before visiting.

Recommended Shrines in Tokyo

Hie Shrine

One of the most popular and well-known shrines offering prayers from October is Hie Shrine in Chiyoda City, Tokyo. It’s centrally located and makes for a beautiful place to take professional pictures. Their website even offers plans and rentals for those who wish to use their services.

• Address: 2-10-5 Nagatachō, Chiyoda City, Tokyo (Google Map Link)
• Closest Stations: Kokkai-gijidomae Station (Tokyo Metro Marunouchi Line and Chiyoda Line), Tameike-sanno Station (Tokyo Metro Ginza Line and Namboku Line)
• Prayer Fee: ¥10,000 
• Reception Hours: 9 a.m.-4 p.m. *No reservations required

Kanda Myojin

Also in central Tokyo, and easily accessible, is Kanda Myojin. Famous for the origin of chitose-ame, Kanda Myojin is another popular destination for families looking to celebrate their little ones. If you want to grab chitose-ame from the original shop that began selling it, stop by Amano-ya right outside the shrine’s main gate. They also sell many other delicious desserts, as well as their famous amazake.

• Address: 2-16-2 Sotokanda, Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo (Google Map Link)
• Closest Stations: Suehirocho Station (Ginza Line); Shin-Ochanomizu Station (Chiyoda Line); Ochanomizu Station (Marunouchi Line and Chuo-Sobu Line)
• Prayer Fee: ¥10,000 
• Reception Hours: 9 a.m. to 3:45 p.m. *No reservations required

Local Shrines

For a more pleasant experience for everyone, I suggest smaller local shrines, especially when dealing with little ones who can become easily exhausted. Since this day is meant to be a happy and positive one for parents and children alike, plan ahead by visiting early.

As for myself and my family, I adore my husband’s neighborhood shrine. As someone who isn’t big on waiting in long lines, I prefer this local one by far! My son is still young and also doesn’t have much patience for waiting. It isn’t as massive as many of the famous shrines scattered around Tokyo, but it feels more meaningful to us.

Capturing Memorable Moments

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There are numerous, perhaps thousands, of photo studios throughout Tokyo advertising for Shichi-Go-San. October and November are the peak seasons, which can extend into September and December as parents try to save money or compete for a reservation spot.

Recommended 7-5-3 Photo Studios in Tokyo/Japan

Studio250 (Shinjuku)

• Prices starting at ¥18,700
• The background is simple but, for a fee, can be changed

Seijo Kosodeya (Setagaya)

• Various price plans for the different age groups
• Costume and dressing are included in the fee

Studio Alice (Various Locations)

• An all-inclusive weekday studio photoshoot starting from ¥7,530
• They will be offering Shichi-Go-San shoots until the end of the year

Studio Origami (Various Locations)

• Weekday plan: From ¥15,900; Weekend/holiday plan: From ¥22,900
• One costume is free with the photo shoot

LifeStudio (Various Locations)

• Prices starting at ¥33,000
• Outfits for children can be rented out for free (You can also bring in your own costumes to wear during the photo shoot)

Freelance Photographers on Fotowa (Various Locations)

• Choose the pricing plan that fits you
• Work directly with local photographers
• Some photographers speak English and are LGBTQ supportive

Clothing Options

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The kimono and haori are still very popular choices for Shichi-Go-San. However, these days, many families opt for Western-style formal suits and dresses on the special day. If you’re struggling to make a choice, it’s perfectly acceptable to choose both outfits and change in between photos and events. I was lucky that my parents sent us a set of suits as a Christmas gift that still fit my son the following year.

If you’re interested in renting, Madoi is one of the rental places in Tokyo where you can pay for the garments and even return them to the store by mail. It can cost around ¥16,000, which to me is still quite pricey. They charge separate fees for dressing and makeup. I’m lucky since my son doesn’t need anything additional, but for parents who want their daughter’s hair done, the cost begins to add up.

Online stores like Rakuten or Amazon are an option for parents who want to keep the clothes as memorabilia. Spending over ¥10,000 on an outfit that can only be worn once isn’t always ideal, especially given the current state of the economy. If you’re crafty and good with a needle, you might even be able to alter the fabric to something your child can wear every day.

Shichi-Go-San Tips & Tricks

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Shichi-Go-San is an event that only happens once or twice in a person’s life. Besides Seiji-no-Hi, a coming-of-age event, you may not get another opportunity to celebrate these meaningful milestones.

With that in mind, there are a few ways to save money:

• Make your photo shoot reservations early between January and August, the off-season
• Weekends and holidays often cost more than normal weekdays
• Getting photographs done in the studio can be cheaper than a location photo shoot
• Outfits can be found online, so it might save you more to buy rather than rent
• Buy the basic digital data now and make prints later when you want them
• Some smaller local shrines offer prayers for a cheaper price
• Choose a photographer or studio that allows cancellations
• Formal clothes and little ones don’t mix well, so prepare treats, stickers, whatever your kiddo will love

Do what’s best for you, your family and your budget. In the end, the important point is taking time to recognize happy milestones your child is going through and celebrating them with a smile.

Has your child dressed up for Shichi-Go-San before? Share your family’s experience with us!

Congratulations on your incoming little one(s)! After you register your pregnancy at the local ward office and start getting the essentials for the baby, you and your partner should start thinking about maternity and paternity leave. In Japan, there are leave programs for mothers and fathers. In an effort to ease the declining birthrate, the Japanese government has been providing additional financial benefits and leave programs to encourage people to have children.

While there are some overlapping options for both parents, namely Childcare Leave (育児休業, ikuji kyuugyou), there are also ones unique to mothers or fathers before and after the birth of a child. Keep reading for a primer on maternity and paternity leave in Japan.

Who Can Take Maternity & Paternity Leave in Japan?

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Under Japanese law, all employed women, regardless of the type or duration of their contract, are entitled to take maternity leave. Unfortunately, freelancers and self-employed women are not considered eligible and, thus, cannot receive the government leave benefits discussed below.

As for men, full-time permanent employees, as well as contract and dispatch workers, are able to take leave. However, there are several situations that may prevent a male employee from taking leave, including:

• Working less than two days a week 
• Having less than a year remaining in their contract following their return from childcare leave 
• Working at the company for less than a year 

For more information about your or your partner’s specific case, it is always best to inquire with the employer and local labor bureau.

Do People Take Childcare Leave in Japan?

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Although many types of workers are eligible for childcare leave, not everyone takes it.

Statistics On Childcare Leave in Japan

Approximately 86% of eligible women and 40% of men took some kind of childcare leave in 2024. If the difference between men and women is surprising, that’s actually a big improvement from recent years. In 2023 and 2022, only 30% and 18% of fathers, respectively, took advantage of a leave program.

Barriers To Taking Leave

While rates are increasing, men have opted not to take leave in greater numbers for several reasons:

• Conservative ideas about women as caregivers and men as financial providers
• Employers who discourage men from taking leave, leading to harassment and punishment 

Meanwhile, women have also faced harassment from employers for taking leave or pressure to return to work early following the birth of their child. Both are prohibited under Japanese law.

How To Apply For Maternity & Childcare Leave Through Your Employer

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Before parents can take leave from work, there are a few steps to follow:

1. Verify the eligibility requirements for leave to ensure you meet the qualifications. 
2. Notify your employer in advance, at least two weeks but ideally one month, before your intended start date of leave.
3. You will typically need to submit a written application form to your employer. In this application, you will need to clearly indicate the start and end dates of your intended leave.
4. Your employer or HR department will handle the formal application process and will submit the social insurance exemption notices on your behalf.

For more information about eligibility requirements and for a sample of a leave application form, please read this document produced by the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare.

Women Only: Childcare Leave Before/After Birth

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Women are eligible to apply for Childcare Before Birth (産前休業, sanzen kyuugyou) for a maximum of six weeks prior to the expected date of delivery. If there are multiple births, such as twins or triplets, the period is extended to 14 weeks.

Under Japanese law, women must take Childcare Leave After Birth (産後休業, sango kyuugyou) for the eight weeks following the child’s birth. As a result, employers cannot require women to return to work before their child is eight weeks old, and women who wish to resume work must obtain permission from a doctor. To calculate the maximum duration of your Childcare Leave Before/After Birth, input your expected due date and whether you are having multiple births in this handy calculator.

Both Parents: Childcare Leave

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Childcare Leave (育児休業, ikuji kyuugyou) is available to both men and women and lasts until the day before the child’s first birthday. For women, the start of Child Care Leave must begin sometime after the end of Childcare Leave After Birth. For men, Childcare Leave can start at any time from the child’s date of birth. Both parents can take Childcare Leave concurrently, if desired.

In terms of salary, you will receive:

• 67% of your salary for the first 180 days of Childcare Leave
• 50% of your salary for the period following the initial 180 days of Childcare Leave 

Childcare Leave can be taken for any duration until the day before the child’s first birthday. Also, a parent can take Childcare Leave in one or two chunks. For example, a father can stay home from the time the child is three to six months and nine to 11 months old.

Men Only: Childcare At Birth Leave

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In the eight weeks following the birth of a child, fathers are allowed to take four weeks off from work with Childcare at Birth Leave (出生児育児休業, shusshouji ikuji kyuugyou).

The four weeks can be divided into two separate periods as long as they both fall within the first eight weeks after birth. For instance, men can take leave in the first two weeks after the birth of the child and when the baby is seven to eight weeks old.

Men must submit a plan, including start and end dates, to their employer prior to taking leave. If not, employers may legally prohibit the second part of the leave.

Compensation will be 67% of the employee’s salary for a maximum of ¥15,190 per day.

Papa & Mama Childcare Leave Plus

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Although the standard Childcare Leave program allows parents to take leaves until the day before the child’s first birthday, there is a way to extend that by two months. The Papa and Mama Childcare Leave (パパ・ママ育休プラス, papa/mama ikukyuu purasu) allows one parent to take leave until the child is 14 months old, if the following conditions are met:

• Both parents must be eligible for Childcare Leave
• The parent who takes Childcare Leave Plus begins on the same day or after the start of their spouse’s Childcare Leave 
• The combined duration of Childcare Leave and Childcare Leave Plus cannot exceed one year

If the total duration of Childcare Leave and Childcare Leave Plus is equal to 180 days or less, the parent will receive 67% of their salary. If applicable, the salary earnings decrease to 50% for the period that exceeds 180 days. For several example scenarios and additional information, consult the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare website. 

Returning to Work After Maternity & Childcare Leave

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About one month before the maternity or childcare leave comes to an end, it’s ideal to schedule a return-to-work meeting with your employer to finalize paperwork and discuss work options:

• Employees can request reduced working hours and ask for exemptions from overtime and night shift work until their children have reached elementary school age.
• Under Japanese labor laws, employees are entitled to their same “role” upon their return to work, but not necessarily the same “position.”
• Discrimination and power harassment, including pressuring parents into working longer hours than they desire, are considered illegal practices and can be reported to the Labor Standards Bureau, as these actions may violate Japan’s Labour Standards Act and the Equal Employment Opportunity Act. Please view the Labor Standards site managed by the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare for further details.

For advice on employer issues and free consultations regarding employee rights and entitlements, please visit the General Union website for more information.  

Have you or your spouse ever taken maternity or paternity leave in Japan? Let us know your experiences in the comments!

Hi Hilary—Wouldn’t Co-Sleeping Make Sexless Marriages Worse?

I’m an American woman in Japan. I saw this on Reddit and was wondering: why do Japanese people insist on co-sleeping with their kids? Like I’ve seen entire families sharing a bedroom in movies and TV shows. I heard of other people sharing a futon with their kids instead of their spouse until the child is nearly in middle school. Sexless marriages are already such a huge thing in Japan; doesn’t that make it worse?

—Why Japanese People

Why Japanese People,

I’ve wondered about this myself for years, but never really researched it until now. I’ve never heard of anyone sharing a futon with their kids until middle school, but I’ll take your word for it that it exists. I think that is an entirely different issue than co-sleeping, however.

Co-sleeping overseas is a hot topic for parenting groups, doctors and so on. In Japan, as many as 70% of Japanese infants and toddlers co-sleep with their parents. It’s been a tradition in Japan for as long as anyone can tell. Some studies have indicated that Japan’s overall low Sudden Unexplained Infant Death (SUID) rate is related to co-sleeping, although this is up for debate.

Soine (co-sleeping) is traditionally done in kawa no ji, or the shape of “川” (the character for river): mother on one side, baby in the middle, father on the other side. It’s meant to promote feelings of security and contentment between the mother and child, and hopefully the father as well.

Practically speaking, the main reason for co-sleeping in the modern era is related to housing.

Most younger families start out in very small apartments where you might only have one bedroom for everyone. If there are two bedrooms, sometimes the mother moves into the baby’s room to keep an eye on them through the night and to prevent disturbances from disrupting the father’s sleep.

Co-sleeping is also considered a good option in case of emergencies, such as earthquakes. Some parents I know found that they went back to sleeping as a family in the post 3/11 years because they were worried about their kids’ safety. Others found it was better to co-sleep as a family because it helped to keep everyone’s anxiety down.

“We pretended we were camping or would watch movies together as a way to unwind at the end of the day.” (American woman, 30s)

However, as you pointed out, having the entire family sleep in the same room is a good way of ensuring that mom and dad do not create new siblings for the infant. Or is it?

Apparently not.

“I don’t think it has any correlation.” (Japanese man, 30s)

Within the Japanese-only and mixed ethnicity couples I spoke to, the vast majority of them pointed out that they have showers, cars and love hotels in order to meet their needs.

“It’s more about planning to have sex and making it a priority instead of a thing that just happens.” (Australian woman, 30s)

“Taking my wife to a love hotel reminded us about our dating lives. I think that’s how we ended up with five kids.” (Japanese man, 40s)

“If you’re in a sexless relationship, it’s not the kids or co-sleeping that caused it” (American woman, 40s).

“Even without kids, some people just stop being interested in sex at a certain point. It’s up to the couple to figure it out.” (Japanese woman, 30s)

There are dozens of reasons that marriages can turn sexless.

Immediately after pregnancy, most women struggle with pain, hormone fluctuations, body image, childcare and scores of other issues that may make having any intimacy uncomfortable, if not a source of stress.

Men, too, can experience hormone changes and stress that may make them less inclined to be interested in sex. Those struggles don’t get better once the pregnancy ends. If the couple isn’t in sync regarding parenting and a number of other points, sex is typically the first thing to go.

Co-Sleeping ≠ Sexless Marriages?

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Older generations and people coming from traditional backgrounds have claimed that when a wife becomes a mother, she no longer has any interest in sex or that motherhood has made her no longer someone to have sex with.

This has been used as an excuse for extra-marital affairs for generations. However, it does not seem to be working with younger people.

“If all you wanted was sex, why bother marrying someone and having kids with them? That’s just dumb.” (Japanese man, 20s)

Younger generations, in general, do not have children, but those who do and have co-slept with their kids don’t see co-sleeping as a barrier between the couple.

“We’d whisper to each other over the baby while they sleep, and sometimes we’d go to the other room to be together.” (Japanese man, 30s)

Even couples who married much later and had children later don’t see co-sleeping as a barrier to intimacy.

“It was a struggle and we went sexless for a while, but we talked about it and when we were both in a better place, it was like our honeymoon all over again.” (Japanese woman, 50s)

Co-sleeping might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and turns a relationship sexless, but it’s not the only reason. Generally speaking, a lack of communication and effort by one or both parties brings a couple to that state.

There is no one perfect solution to the issue. Just as there are scores of factors that can cause a couple to end up sexless, it’s not co-sleeping that causes it.

Got a question you’d like to ask Hilary? Email it to askhilary@savvytokyo.com with the subject “Ask Hilary.”

Probably the most important piece of paper your child will bring home from Japanese elementary school is the yearly event schedule—it basically determines the whole family’s plans for the next 12 months. It’s a long list of too many to-dos, which for many foreign moms can be a tad frustrating to figure out and make sense of. Having spent a long time trying to decipher this important list myself, I decided to put my experience into practice and share everything I’ve learned over the years here with you.

So if you’re a mom to a child who attends a Japanese school and want to make sure that your return home in summer doesn’t interfere with sports day, parent-teacher meetings and irregular holidays, read on!

Japanese School Event Calendar Kanji & Kana

行事予定 (gyouji yotei; “Event Schedule”)

These detail the main events that the school has planned for a particular period. You should receive an annual (年間, nenkan; “yearly”) one at the start of each school year. It will probably be in a list or chart format, with a title like this:
令和７年度 主な行事予定 (reiwa shichinendo omona gyouji yotei; “2025 main event schedule”)

4月行事予定 (shigatsu gyouji yotei; “April Event Schedule”)

You will also regularly receive a monthly plan, which will be more detailed and up to date. The above example is just for April.

Key Ceremonies & Events

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始業式 (shigyou-shiki; “Commencement Ceremony”)

This gathering is held at the start of the school year, and on the first day back at school after vacation, but it usually doesn’t involve parents.

入学式 (nyuugaku-shiki; “Entrance Ceremony”)

This big day may be held on the same day as the commencement ceremony, or the day after.

給食開始 (kyuushoku kaishi; “Start Of School Lunch”)

Love it or hate it, catered school lunches are a quintessential part of Japanese elementary school life. You might also see the abbreviated version, 給食始 (kyuushoku hajime; “lunch start”). The end of the lunch service is marked by 給食終了 (kyuushoku shuuryou; “end of lunch”).

保護者会 (hogosha-kai; “Parent-Teacher Meeting”)

Group parent-teacher meetings for each class are usually held in the afternoon, around the start and end of each semester. The teacher will explain how the class is going, what the kids have been doing and what they will be working on next.

There is usually an opportunity to ask questions. PTA representatives are typically determined at the first such meeting of the school year—which is not a reason to miss it.

家庭訪問 (katei houmon; “Home Visit”)

Under this tradition, the teacher of each class visits the home of each student to talk with a parent. The visits are arranged in advance. Some schools have phased this out and instead conduct area visits, 地域訪問 (chiiki houmon; “area visit”) to confirm where students live and if there are any safety issues in their neighborhoods.

公開 (koukai; “Open To The Public”)

A few days a year, schools open their classes to public viewing. It may appear on the event schedule as either 公開授業 (koukai jugyou; “open lesson”) or 学校公開 (gakkou koukai; “open school”). Remember to take slippers with you when visiting the school, and bring your name tag if you’ve been issued one. You may know this by the term that’s more often used at kindergarten; 参観日 (sankan-bi; “Observation Day”).

Excursions & Special Lessons

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遠足 (ensoku; “Excursion”)

You will probably need to make a bento (lunchbox) for your child to take along. Also, check what will happen if it rains, and make plans as needed. A 予備日 (yobibi; “day to reserve”) is usually also set, and if the event gets delayed, it will be rescheduled to that day.

水泳指導 (suiei shidou; “Swimming Instruction”)

It’s also known as pool opening プール開き (puuru biraki; “pool opening”). Remember to stamp your child’s pool card!

夏季休業日始 (kaki kyuugyoubi hajime; “Start Of Summer Holidays”)

This is a complicated way of saying 休み (yasumi; “Holiday”). The end of vacation is noted in a similarly difficult fashion, like 冬季休業日終 (touki kyuugyoubi owari; “end of winter holidays”).

開校記念日 (kaikou kinenbi; “School Anniversary”)

The anniversary of the day the school first opened is usually celebrated with a holiday. Because the date is unique to each school, this is a great day for a weekday visit to somewhere that’s usually very crowded—like Disneyland!

Major School Events

運動会 (undoukai; “Sports Day”)

Every Japanese school takes this day extremely seriously. This big event is at the mercy of the elements, so check what will happen in the case of bad weather. Also, confirm whether you’ll be eating a self-prepared lunch with your child, or separately, or whether a catered school lunch will be provided, which is likely if the event is postponed to a weekday.

Since sports days are usually held on Saturdays, schools give kids a compensatory holiday, 振替休業日 (furikae kyuugyouubi; “substitute holiday”), on the following weekday. An alternative term for this is 代休日 (daikyuubi; “compensatory day off”).

展覧会 (tenrankai; “Exhibition”)

This is a collective showing of the students’ artwork, usually held in the school gym.

引き渡し訓練 (hikiwatashi kunren; “Child Pick-up Emergency Training”)

Although students participate in a number of 避難訓練 (hinan kunren; “emergency drill”) sessions at school throughout the year, this one involves the parents, who have to collect their children from school, as they would be expected to do after a large earthquake.

Trips & Study Programs

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移動教室 (idou kyoushitsu; “Study Trip”)

Literally translated as “mobile classroom,” this refers to school trips of two or more days, usually made by the senior students.

修学旅行 (shuugaku ryokou; “Graduation Trip”)

This is exclusive to sixth graders only. It’s a few-day trip held, usually a few months before the children’s graduation. You will receive plenty of other detailed information prior to this event.

Ceremonies To Mark The End Of School Terms

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終業式 (shuugyou-shiki; “End Of Term Ceremony”)

修了式 (shuuryou-shiki; “Completion Of School Year Ceremony”)

卒業式 (sotsugyou-shiki; “Graduation Ceremony”)

The big day has finally come. Fifth-grade students will also be involved in the graduation ceremony for sixth years, but other grades will have the day off.

Now that you know what all the important school terms mean, get your calendars and pens out and plan the rest of the year accordingly—stress-free!

Is there anything else on your elementary school event schedule you’re struggling to understand? If you have any other general questions about Japanese school life, let us know in the comments below. We would be happy to address them in a separate article!

Have trouble with appliances in Japanese? Check out our kanji cheat sheet articles for general appliances, washers and dryers, microwave ovens and air conditioners.

For many mothers in Japan, the journey into motherhood brings joy, sleepless nights and an unexpected sense of loneliness. While parenting is a universally challenging experience, Japanese social norms, cultural expectations and the structure of community life can make it particularly difficult for moms to form lasting friendships.

These past two years were full of change for me as I transitioned into motherhood and moved to a new prefecture. With this big change came job loss, daycare-waiting-list limbo, and worst of all, loneliness. I was struggling to cope with the monumental task of making new friends in a new city.

But maybe luck took pity on me because I somehow managed to make one friend. She’s a Japanese mother of two, and it was beyond refreshing to hear her honesty about the problems women face as mothers in Japan. She noted that finding long-term mama-tomo (mom friends) is equally difficult for Japanese mothers.

The Isolation Begins Early

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For many new mothers, isolation starts during pregnancy or immediately after birth. Maternity leave can cause resentment in the workplace, especially if the mother’s coworkers take on her workload. If the search for daycare extends beyond expectations, this can increase tensions in the office. Many working moms abandon stable careers for part-time jobs for this reason.

In addition, cultural attitudes about burdening others often prevent women from reaching out. The Japanese value of enryo (restraint or modesty) means mothers may hesitate to invite others over or ask for help—even if they’re struggling. For non-Japanese mothers, it can be even harder if their extended family is out of the country. They have to rely on friends or in-laws, which might make some people uncomfortable.

The “Perfect Mother” Pressure

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Before getting pregnant, I attended many lunches with friends who had children. I could see the burden they carried to prove they were the perfect mothers—organized, nurturing, modest and wholly devoted to motherhood. This can be one of the main reasons many mothers might put up walls to avoid criticism.

For working mothers, it can be even harder. There’s little time or energy left for socializing. And since many mama-tomo groups revolve around school activities scheduled during the day, working moms often feel left out. Even when opportunities arise, they might experience guilt for their lack of participation in their child’s school life. This can further alienate them from potential friendships.

Opportunities For Connection

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As a first-time mom and a foreigner, attending events or classes was intimidating. The first time I went to a kodomokan (children’s hall), I begged my husband to go with me. The idea of showing up at an unfamiliar place with my four-month-old in tow terrified me. By sharing my experience, I hope to ease your fears about visiting Japan’s children’s centers.

The kodomokan was large, for all ages, and had a small entrance fee of ¥200. There were no forms to sign or reservations necessary. There was a designated baby area for children from zero months to two years of age. A diaper changing station with hot water was a few steps away, should I need anything at all. In fact, I didn’t talk to the staff the entire time I was there.

As for my local jidoukan (children’s center)‌, I ended up filling out a form on my second visit. The staff wanted to make my son a cute name tag to wear during his visits. They also invited us to join the upcoming club, Paruniko Kurabu, which was a designated club for my son’s age. Different clubs are available for various age groups, and they offer unique, fun activities monthly.

Among the many events they hold, my local jidoukan also has a toy library where children can rent a toy for a month. The experienced staff happily distract or guide your child during events, giving moms a much-needed break. Overall, it’s a place meant to help children blow off steam and moms to relax.

A Path Forward

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After talking with many moms, both Japanese and non-Japanese, I’ve come to realize that we’re all struggling to find a solid group of friends. Some of these friendships might be surface-level, centering on playdates, and amount to nothing more. Despite these challenges, many moms in Japan do eventually find their people—it just takes time, intention and resilience.

Some strategies that help include:

• Joining local parenting groups or classes and making a habit of attending regularly.
• Volunteering at school or community events, even in small ways. If you’re a working mom, this can be slightly embarrassing, but even the most minor effort counts. Plus, other working moms will find comfort in knowing they’re not alone.
• Taking the initiative to invite other moms for coffee or playdates, despite the fear of rejection.
• Being open and a little vulnerable can help others feel safe to do the same.
• Connecting online, where many moms find supportive spaces to vent, share and meet others.

Perhaps most importantly, please know that if you feel lonely, you’re far from alone. Nearly every mother I spoke to mentioned the struggle to make friends. They even admitted that the friendships were sometimes shallow or limited. These connections may come slowly, but for many moms, those hard-won friendships become a lifeline on the long, beautiful and often lonely journey of parenting.

If you’ve found your mama-tomo or have tips on making connections with other moms, then leave a comment down below. Let us know what worked for you or where you met them so that other moms can do the same and make some friends in Japan.